Wednesday, September 17, 2014

All Right, Fine

Here's a digest of what's been up lately for you non-Facebook-having people.

City officer Vincent Cosom was caught on tape cold clocking victim Kollin Truss in the face for no apparent reason at a North Avenue bus stop; the clip went national, Cosom got suspended with pay two months after the incident.*

Police are ISO this guy for robbing a convenience store on Pulaski Highway and beating a customer with a bottle. Also robbed: a business in Canton and a bunch of other poor decent souls in the Southeast.

Meanwhile, at Hopkins Homewood: "Two female undergraduate students were approached by an unknown male about 30 years of age who asked one of them what kind of shirt she was wearing then grabbed the back of the shirt to see what size it was. The male left the cafe and returned about 15 minutes later and offered to take pictures of them at his apartment. When his offer was declined, he said "Don't be scared. I won't chop you up in pieces." ... because that is totally what someone who won't chop you into pieces would say.

The kid curfew went into effect last month and officers scooped up 120 wayward yutes.*

That lawsuit against Carol Ott was dismissed.

Unshockingly, officer Jeffrey Bolger, one of two officers accused of slitting a shar-pei's throat wants the case dismissed.* Less unshockingly his lawyers have requested this by means of an open letter to Gregg Bernstein.

Police finally caught Davon Wallace, suspected of killing 3-year-old Knijah Bibb in PGC while trying to shoot his girlfriend's brother who borrowed his clothes without permission.

Local nutcase/Republican candidate for sheriff David Anthony Wiggins went on a rant about "Jew women" and "white liberal bullshit."

Ray Rice. Fun fact: even though the Ravens have had 17 players arrested since 2000 they're not even in the top 10 of the teams with the most arrests. And, shockingly, the NFL's arrest rate is actually lower than the national average.

Chris Davis got suspended for 25 games for using Adderall and lifted a flipped truck.

Justin Fenton and Ian Duncan are upset that Young Moose's raps are being used against him* in his gelcap-slinging trial. If the simile you use for "posted" is "like some posters" maybe stick to your day job.

Gerald Wiseburg
This guy was allegedly running a Lutherville pill mill and he looks pretty darn happy about it.

A lady was robbed at gunpoint by the Roland Park water tower.

The City Paper's "Best Of" issue is out, confusing as usual with its convoluted praise, double negatives and latent sarcasm. Por ejemplo, the Hennessey Heist won "best burglary," Dan McIntosh of the Nicka Conspiracy scored "best sentence" and Judge Motz's inaction on our leaky sewers got "best block."

A terrifying piece on NPR detailed the cellphone spyware that domestic abusers can use to stalk their victims. Pull quote: "The strategy of offenders is to have complete and utter domination and control of their victims."


And O'Malley cosplay'd on a horse.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Wiziging It Up





A memorial for murdered Mia Henderson will be held today at 1 in Charles Village.

Thirty-five years for 26-year-old Davon Martin, allegedly part of the "Little Spelman" gang that ran a "crack shop" in "Cherry Hill," 151 months for cocaine dealer Travis Gaines

Baltimoreans rallied to protest the horrifying paramilitary occupation* of Ferguson, MO, and David Simon wrote an "open letter" to the Ferguson Police Department, and at Stoop Storytelling ol' FHBIII talked about busting up Occuppy. Anonymous had its Twitter account suspended after releasing the wrong officer name and photo. Whoops!

One Tyree Threatt was arrested for a robbery that happened while he was in jail.* Whoops!
Jessica Maranto and Brandon Johnson

Horrible parents left a malnourished six-year-old in a room at the Welcome Inn in Loch Raven.

A settlement conference has been scheduled for property flipper Scott Wizig, a flipper so insidious his name has become a verb and talking to him makes reporters yearn for a bleach bath. (“We didn’t feel truly clean until we scrubbed off the first two layers of skin.”)

The commander of the homicide unit has been replaced* by the former homicide commander.

The new chair of the liquor board, Tom Ward, is reportedly one can-do muthafucka.

The governor of Maine called bullshit on Ray Rice's suspension.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Butt Chugging in Knoxville

Maryland's ban on assault weapons was upheld by a federal judge. Here's the full ruling via Ian Duncan. Said the plaintiffs, argle bargle, argle bargle.

A man was found dead in a car in Clifton Park* and a man was shot on N. Pulaski St on the West side.

An accident with a police cruiser at Frankfort and Plainfield injured six.

Carjacking/shooting victim Guy Jackson is suing the police after they seized him from shock trauma, questioned him and then released him on the street in a hospital gown with a bullet hole in his face.

Two separate federal cases have been thrown out due to the BPD's "credibility issues."

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So the Federal Dept of Ed has opened an inquiry into the whole JHU gang-rape-at-Pi-Kappa-Alpha (aka Pike) situation. Pike's previous claims to fame include shooting a pledge with a pellet gun in Berkeley, killing a pledge in Illinois, getting banned from UVA for making pledges bite an onion and "butt chugging" in Knoxville.

Morgan Arnold, who's somewhere on the spectrum and was 14 when she allegedly conspired with her boyfriend to murder her dad, will be tried as an adult.* Three weeks before the killing she wrote in her journal, "Today, all I could hear was the sound of bones breaking and flesh tearing. It's insane and it's sick that I like those sounds." Or it means you'd make a great charcutier.


Ethan Estevez
In HarfCo terrifying-looking teacher Ethan Estevez is accused of plotting with a student to kill his wife so he could keep boning her.* Texted the student, "Like it has to look like an accident because of life insurance and stuff."

Since we've been gone...
Two three-year-olds were shot in two weeks, McKenzie Elliott and Knijah Bibb. Person-of-interest  Tyrone Jamison, 21, turned himself in on a probation violation (but hasn't been officially charged, it seems), one Davon Wallace, 25, was arrested for Bibb's.

Tyree Woodson, nabbed on a warrant, shot himself inside the Southwest district police station.

Some teenagers hijacked a school bus for fun

And Michael Vick advised Ray Rice to "try to make amends for what you've done."

Monday, July 14, 2014

Officer Asshole

The NIMBYs of Harwood are upset about a proposed addiction-treatment center.*  The neighborhood of Harwood's best-known citizen is/was Edna McAbier, who went into hiding after being firebombed in 2005 by the Bloods for reporting drug dealing. In other drugs news, after Reddit regurgitated that 2006 USA Today piece claiming that 60,000 Baltimoreans are addicts Ian Duncan settled the score yet again-- it's only like 11,000- 20,000 addicts you guyze (depending on how you define it). 

We're up to 104 murders.

Local scribe D. Watkins has a new piece in Salon reviewing The Fault in Our Stars. JK! The piece is "Gunplay is All I Know" and is why he'd "rather be caught with a gun than without one." (Best lines: "[Free] was a 40-something-year-old dude who loved ladies, and greasy chicken cheese steaks with extra provolone from Mama Mia’s." and "within a few years, Officer Friendly turned into Officer Asshole.")
Jimmy Smith

Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith was arrested * for interfering with Emergency Services at the Greene Turtle in Towson and beamed in his mug shot. The Sun reports this is the 5th arrest of a Raven this offseason.

Want to watch a @BaltimorePolice sarge Jarron Jackson get Tased® for training purposes?

Want to watch the video Fealicia "Snoop" Pearson took while hanging out with 12'O Clock boy Pug?

Still not at peace with the recent election?
Luke Broadwater dug into the Bernstein/Mosby numbers and found that the vote was less along racial lines this election than last time.* In other words, while white ppl and black ppl showed out for Bernstein last election the white people in particular didn't really show for him his time, and Bernstein actually picked up some support in some black neighborhoods.
There's some comfort in the numbers for Mizeur supporters, she did quite well in the city. 
From Cham and Broadwaters' #'s: 69716 total votes, Brown got 36742(53%), Mizeur got 20062(29%) and Gansler got 11431(16%). Ms. Mizeur pretty much took the 1st, 6th, 11th, 12th, 13th, 23rd and 27th Wards.


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Mosby Defeats Bernstein!

Anthony Brown, the man who misplaced $90 million, secured the gubernatorial nomination, and Heather Mizeur walked down a long hall. The sitting judges kept their seats, for now. Brian Frosh beat Mr. Boat Proposal. And in an upset that few-- least of all the incumbent-- saw coming, Marilyn Mosby beat State's Attorney Gregg Bernstein, with 1/4th of the cash and zero management experience. What the heck happened? As the Brew opines, Mosby's path was actually pretty similar to Bernstein's: take on an over-confident incumbent, seize on the outrageous stories that pique interest, rack up endorsements, sympathize with victims eye-to-eye. I wonder if Jayne Miller's girlfriend will get her job back now?

Speaking of criminals, the two who were running-- Don "Delegate Drinky Dranky" and Julius Henson, both lost.

Two were arrested for the shooting on Monastery (I think they mean 6/22)-



Ashani John Salmon
A very short man named Ashani John Salmon is sought in connection with the shooting at Peju's Kitchen and Lounge in Gwynn Oak, call police if you see him.

Police are looking for whomever assaulted Kyndyl Fauntleroy as he left the Arabian Nights Hookah Lounge on Light Street this past Sunday.
Nicholas Ishmael

A police cadet, one Nicholas Ishmael, aged 20, has been charged with stealing hillbilly heroin from the county evidence vault. And stealing cash. Two of his cousins also face drug charges. Tsk!

Depressing: 62 percent of SWAT raids are ISO drugs, and 36 percent of raids recover no contraband of any kind.

Well, that's nice, the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled today that police can't search the cellphones of people they arrest without a warrant.

Big pimpin leads to big arrestin. Five alleged pimps were arrested yesterday, one in Baltimore county and four in PGC. Oh, and they were pimping children.

One Derrick James Jackson was arrested in the county for brandishing a gun* during a road rage incident on 695. So, wonder what happened to the New Jersey cop road-rager Detective Joseph Walker? Haven't heard anything about that case since February.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

'Brassiere, Queer, and Volunteer'





Happy election day! Seems as good a time as any to revisit Jon Cardin's Coast Guard proposal,* the $90 million Anthony Brown lost* trying to implement our health-care exchange and Doug Gansler's teen booze party* caught on video. Me, I'm voting for the lesbian with the fangs.

The pregnant woman beaten to death in Rosedale was identified as Summer Smith. The Sun's original Facebook teaser stated that Smith's own mother was a suspect, but references to that appear to have now been scrubbed.

Friends are perplexed as to how Daniel Waldhaus of Shelton, Connecticut, wound up murdered in a car in Baltimore.*

New faces at the Liquor Board-- O'Malley bucked the patronage system to appoint 87-year-old Judge Tom Ward, perhaps best known previously for restraining a criminal in Bolton Hill,* and lawyer Dana Moore, whose law firm represents "Texas-based Scott Wizig, the target of an $8 million suit by six community groups who allege that he (or entities he controls) owns 57 vacant, dilapidated properties."

Tyrone West
Tyrone West's family has filed a lawsuit, and revealed that the same officers who killed him had beaten motorist Abdul Salaam* three weeks prior, for failing to buckle his child's seat belt. Salaam has joined the suit.

Timothy Virts pleaded "not criminally responsible" to murder and kidnapping charges, his lawyer says he's criminally insane. He and his daughter Caitlyn were found at the Colonial Inn in Florence, South Carolina.

A pizza delivery driver was stabbed in Essex.