Some Sketchy McSketchmeisters poking around my alley reminded me to remind readers near the Loyola and JHU Homewood campuses in Charles Village, Evergreen and environs that freshmen-orientation season is upon us-- Xmas morning for burglars and grifters on the take. In addition to the
rote numnuts advice to not leave junk on your car's seats or totter off drunken and alone down a dark alley, I'll also add:
Get an etching pen. The carbide-tipped ones are cheap and you can use it to skritch your name and phone number on stuff like computers, game systems, TVs and the like. Might not keep stuff from getting stolen, but will help you recover the items later and make them less fence-able.
Consider leaving your car unlocked. Maniacal zombies may smash your window anyway, but if it saves you one $300 window-repair assboning, it's worth it. Plus it'll be a continual reminder to never leave anything in your car you won't miss.
Don't stop to talk to anyone, ever. Nice, right? But someone on the street who approaches you asking for the time, directions or some sob story is most likely trying to distract you so a buddy can jack you. If you encounter some street-stranger trying to get your attention, immediately take a 180 of your surroundings. If a robbery is imminent, throw your stuff one way and take off in the opposite direction.
Don't wear flip-flops. Sporting flip-flops on the sidewalks and alleys of downtown will give you that fresh-off-the-boat appeal. The only city residents you'll see in flip-flops around town are those far enough gone to not care if they bump toe with dog turds, broken glass, used condoms, chicken bones and barf. Unless you can plausibly cultivate that kind of aura, go for a closed-toe.
And finally,
don't stereotype. Sure, statistically in this burg your robber is most likely to be a 20-something black guy, but watch someone's behavior, not their outward appearance. Muggings by white perps, pairs of girls and groups of teenagers happen as well. There was an instance of a guy breaking into cars while wearing a suit and carrying his gear in a briefcase. And it's also not true that walking on the street is necessarily more dangerous for women, actually
men are more likely to be victims of violence perpetrated by a stranger. In other words, while a woman is be more likely to get her purse snatched on the sidewalk, a guy is more likely to be injured during the course of a robbery.
So, any other tips, readers?
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a purportedly fictional revenge fantasy set in the Eastern district, written by Sergeant Michael A. Wood Jr. (l) and published via Amazon's self-publishing arm. Based on the three-page sample it looks a little testosterone-soaked and under-edited for my taste (unless there's a ton of sex in it, of course, but that seems unlikely). But perhaps you would enjoy a little of the old ultra-violence, dear reader:
Sparrow's Point is why) Props to the Sun, who tracked down the bidder as one Thomas E. Roberts, a property developer in St. Louis, and to the Brew for staying on the original story like a dog-tick in August. Says commentor "An RG Creditor": 
A drug deal goes south (Shocking!), and ends with balding Dundalkian Thomas Schnople, 24 (Pictured Right), firing almost a half dozen shots at his drug dealers, missing the man but striking his car. 
but is illegal under MD law, says el WaPo.
