Wednesday, September 26, 2007

September 26

A demented 79-year-old man murdered his 81-year-old wife, Virginia Jones, then died before police could charge him.

A man was stabbed to death on the street at 6:30 p.m. in the 5200 block of Fairlawn Ave.

Fox news reported that another mystery body has been found in the Northern, this one in Wyman Park near the 700 block of Wyman Park Drive. No reports online however. Nobody tell this douche!
(Thanks non -- I turned on non comments in your honor.)

The Ink covers murders from September 10-23 with names and details.

The good news! City police have new schedule, and it'll be the "first time in 50 years that police won't be working six days on, two days off. Instead they will change to a four-day workweek with longer hour shifts." They also get a 5% pay raise. Progress!

Joseph McInnis Jr., 39, of the 3500 block of Elmley Ave. in Northeast Baltimore has been charged with first-degree rape in the 1984 incident and first-degree murder in a 1987 killing after being linked with DNA. And early release for a former cop who liked to "groom" young boys.

The ACLU is suing the MD State police for withholding records related to a racial profiling lawsuit.

Bmore living tip: don't leave cash money in your car.

In AAC murder charges were dropped against Lamal Wise, 18, after a witness Dontay Williams was murdered.

28 comments:

burgersub said...

attention wbal and wjz: methamphetamine and methadone are two VERY different drugs. the nickname "meth" specifically refers to methamphetamine, NOT methadone. you are fucking retarded.

Maurice Bradbury said...

siriusly! And they both did it!

If you don't have enough room for a headline, put "opiate"!

burgersub said...

not the first time i've seen this in local headlines either. where on earth do the local network affiliates find editors for their websites?

burgersub said...

also "drug" would work.

Mr. Reticent said...

Hah, the messenger crime blotter mentioned a "Walkman radio stolen from garage." What's the value on a Walkman these days?

ppatin said...

I wonder if the "meth" error was actually by the Associated Press, since that's where the story came from. You'd still think they'd know the difference though since crystal meth has been getting so much attention recently.

Anonymous said...

Heh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the word douche used more accurately or beautifully in my life.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

we should ask him how that war on god is going

Maurice Bradbury said...

why thank you eeb.
I don't know why but I woke up today and decided that "douche" is way underutilized as an adjective.
(to the tune of "Jingle Bells" in the style of Elmo)
douche douche douche,
douche douche douche,
douche douche douche, douche douche!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the props, Cyb!

Well, I dig The Shank. I just can't understand why The Shank is dissing this blog. I don't really think "douche" is, in reality, an actual douche, but some of his opinions are absurd.

John Galt said...

Some observations about Baltimore City parolees:


1) 66% have served prior terms in jail/prison

2) over 27% have their parole status violated

3) the largest group, 37% of the total, serve from 40 to 60% of their sentence

One in three is rearrested within 6 mos. of release, but mostly not before 3 mos. after release (so they are ticking timebombs after the first 100 days.)

42% have had four or more prior convictions

68% have had prior jail/prison terms

56% had been arrested as juveniles

40% simultaneously had a family member in prison while serving their sentence

Over 37% of all releasees return to only 11% of Baltimore's neighborhoods.

16% are reconfined within 6 mos. on a new conviction


Conclusion: the bad ones should not be released- they are enculturated criminals; they should remain in continual custody. The best way to do it is probably cumulative sentencing. No suspended sentencing, no good credits.

John Galt said...

Breaking newsflash from Wonderful (Better) Waverly:

With a cop pursuing a fleeing SUV, its idiot driver rammed the cruiser and then drove into a house on the 2700 block, Matthews.

Did I mention how much I love this neighborhood ??

John Galt said...

The incident, which started at Greenmount & 27th Street, is covered here.

Maurice Bradbury said...

A common afflicton, non, in which an undouchy individual is embolded by the freedom of immediate reproach that the Internets offer, then suddenly... *sound of water & vinegar truck colliding*

John Galt said...

Cybes, you don't yet have this domestic, do you ?

Maurice Bradbury said...

no! Thanks galt!

Glad Luke Broadwater's back from his honeymoon!

John Galt said...

An elderly Irvington-area woman had a fake BGE employee force his way into her home and assault her.

WMAR withhled her identity.

Real BGE staff have verifiable ID. Police caution residents to be wary.

John Galt said...

link here.

Anonymous said...

The update is priceless. It is not his opinions that make him a douche, but yay for him portraying himself as a victim of people considering him a douche because of his righteous opinions. It is the manner in which he expresses all of his opinions, with such smug self-righteous indignation, his belief that right and wrong is as simple as the plot for a George Lucas film, that all who may disagree with him are part of a great evil conspiracy - in league with the Republicans, Darth Vadar, people who don’t think punk rawk Bettie Boop whoopee cushions are important and people with what he considers bad music taste - etc., etc., etc.... These are the things that make him the biggest douche in the lower Mid-Atlantic.

I have a fairly good idea what made him attack this page yesterday, based on my past experiences with the Douche. In the comments yesterday, the Cybrarian acknowledged voting for a Republican *gasp!* - once. In the Douchiverse, that makes her in league with the evil ones. As a soldier of righteousness, it is his duty to destroy her - or to be a smug prick to her - which in his imagination is the same thing.

Did he seriously criticize others for their “self-righteous indignation” ?!?

Personally, I’ve never voted for a Republican in my life, but El Douche makes me wish I had. He makes me sympathize for crazed orthodox Nazi capitalist christians. After all, they cannot be worse than him.

Gor said...

Anyone who votes for anyone solely based on what political party they belong to is an idiot.

Even with that said, if any decent person was to ever run for political office here in Maryland they would have to join the Democrat party first (even if most of their views are not in line with the democrats), because we have to many idiots here in Balitmore/Maryland who vote party line and they would need the idiot vote to be elected.

Caederus said...

gor,

I'd make one small correction to what you have said. Having lived in 3 counties in Maryland in addition to the city, there are some very local races where you have decent Republicans who run, and get elected. The Democrat only situation is limited to some areas, like the city.

Sean said...

Wait a minute, you used "douche" as a noun, not an adjective!

Maurice Bradbury said...

hey wait you're right sean, the adj. would be "douchy," right?

I don't even want to look at the update (because I only do what's easy and fun, and besides, studies show paying attention to douches will turn you into one), but I'll take your word for it!

As for Ehrlich, I didn't agree with a lot -- probably most-- of what he stood for. But at least you knew what that was. O'Malley was all about getting to a higher office by whatever means, and basically abdandoned the city to go campaigning for the last entire year in office, and that was just not cool with me.

And guess what, we got slots and inequality for the gays anyway, and some extra taxes to boot!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, O'Malley's definitely a disappointment, although I'm not sure what I expected. Not only did he reverse on slots and gays, but also, wasn't the BGE rate increase thing suuposed to be Ehrlich's fault back in the day? Um... not much changed on that score, either. He needs a pair of John Kerry Flip Flops, I think.

As for higher office, he (allegedly) stated in law school that his goal is to become president someday...

Sean said...

Oh, well, I was just referring to your use of "douche" here, not elsewhere. Also, would it be "douchy" or "douchey?" Thoughts?

"Douchie" would be a nice homonym noun.

Maurice Bradbury said...

doucherific?
as in, only a doucherific douchebag would blog douchy things about someone, then whine when they get called a douche!

... the Douchiverse, heh heh

Anonymous said...

i totally agree that that smarmy little douche needed to be called out. eebmore nailed him as a smug self-righteous indignate douche.

good at 'cha!!