Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Magnificent Seven

Three people shot in four hours Monday* night, one fatally. But hey--

Still! Was it the new crime plan? The horrible weather? Something else?

Everyone at Stevenson University freaked the fuck out* yesterday after reports of man with a gun-- turns out it was a couple of guys hunting in the nearby woods.

And old Joan Carter Conway is at it again, trying to keep booze bars in Belvedere.* Carter is the wife of city liquor inspector Vernon Conway* and has a history of supporting wack hooch laws and praying to decide how to vote.

Did the Sun ax the City Paper's April Fools issue, or is that the joke? In other Sun news, a chicken on a toilet.

A silver alert has been issued for 92-year-old Grant Brucker, last seen on Joppa Road in Towson.
Also in Towson, a turned-over dump truck full of dirt.

Stolen deaf puppy returned to Timonium couple.

Fifty guns found in Cecil Co home.

Monday, March 31, 2014

The Bold and the Stupidful

Sketchy rapist
.. this is the fat rapist in the Northeast with Jocelyn Wildenstein lips who has broken into (at least) two women's homes* and assaulted them (left). Is it too judgy of me, or is it okay to say that the sketches coming out of the police department in the past year or so have just not been very good?

Another DUI* for 98 Rock DJ Stephen "Stash" Smith.

"Federal fake-pot crackdown continues"

Damn nearly killed 'er!
Blargh, Janay Palmer, the woman who was cold-clocked by Ray Rice in an Atlantic City elevator, married him on Friday. In case you were wondering, NJ's marital-privilege law doesn't apply to domestic abuse and wouldn't apply to an incident that happened before they were married. And the incident was caught on video anyway. So I guess she did it for love. Or money. Or stupid. Barf. Gag.

Senator Jamie Raskin and Delegate Sandy Rosenburg have introduced measures to require a warrant for drone tracking but nobody's going for it.

Passage of trans-rights bill has reportedly riled the crazies. But the bathrooms! Won't someone please think of the bathrooms?! Come quickly Lord Jesus!!  /s

Larence Godfrey
Dayum, in AAC an inmate scaled razor wire.* He put a blanket over it, but still, that's pretty hardcore there Larence.