Are you really good at digging deep, dark holes?

Can you dig one deep and dark enough for a man who rapes a 5-year-old girl? Probably not.

Need some copper tubing? So does this construction site.

Possibly armed man vanishes.

"This is, I think, fire No. 7 in 13 years … They've all been arson."

Battle of Baltimore Crime's Favorite Two People: Warren Brown vs. Pat Jessamy

18-year-old arrested for shooting two other 18-year-olds in Edgewood. Of course, the alleged perp appears to be currently awaiting trial for armed robbery, assault, weapons charges, etc.

"Why is this even news anymore?" Three men shot in two hours (actually more like 1 hour, 13 minutes).

What a shocker...

Registered sex offender arrested for sex offense, according to this poorly written, apparently unedited article. (Look, ma, no hyphen!)

Highlights: "Then Mason drove to a business in the Annapolis area to purchase food and was accompanied by the 13-year-old female." Nice way to start a sentence...

"One of the females text a family member stating that the juveniles were scared and needed assistance."

"Mason was arrested and charged with Second Degree Rape, Perverted Practice and Contributing to a Mino." He contributed to a mino? Helping out needy birds is a crime now?