Friday, November 12, 2010

Only in Baltimore!

So Agnes Welch, 85, wants to retire from the City Council and appoint her son as successor. Whaddayagonnado, here in Baltimore we like our crabs hot, our beer cold, and our politicians dynastic, gun-toting, finance-law-violating miscreants.
(thanks Adam for digging up those stories)

.. don't miss "Waiting for the Plan," the fourth installment of Ed Ericsson's series, "Detox Clusterfudge."

and though a tutoring company is accused of stealing more than $100,000 from the school system by falsifying documents and forging signatures, prosecutor Robert A. Rohrbaugh says school officials and lawyers stonewalled and refused to turn over documents for months. The alleged tutor-$-scamming bitches certainly picked the wrong signature to forge... that of former Sun reporter (now Brew reporter) Joan Jacobson.

14 comments:

kara said...

Fuck you, stop whining you crazy person and do something about it like i am. im researching crime in Baltimore... doing a research assignment about close range gun shot wounds... Im going to college to make things better in Baltimore! First of all im starting to volunteer at the juvenile detention facility and when I finish grad school Im gonna work my tiny little 115 lb ass off (Im 5' 3" and white)in the deepest darkest scariest allies at all hours of the night starting as a crime scene tech, then a police officer and eventually a homicide detective. Do you think its for the money? Hell no... Its because I want to make a difference and I CANT FUCKING STAND the way people like you talk so much shit but do absolutely nothing have a great day asshole

Cham said...

Okay, kara, I'll play. Researching crime does what exactly to make things better in Baltimore? How do you plan to be accepted to any graduate school with your spelling and grammar challenges? How are you going to get yourself into your deepest darkest scariest allies? Isn't that going to hurt and will they let you do that? Where do you get the idea that being a crime scene tech, police officer and a homicide detective improves anything? Don't we already have a bunch of those?

Inquiring minds wish to know.

kara said...

Well Cham, It was after all almost 8 a.m. and I had been since the day before doing research, totaling 26 hours so I wasn't really too concerned about my grammar because I wasn't aware that i was being graded on blogger.com. Whoops sorry the mistake, I will be more careful this time. As for school I have been accepted thanks for asking. I will be attending the University of Baltimore in the fall. They are well known for their forensic science program. Crime scene technicians work in pairs or solo. They can be at the scene for 24 hours, give or take a few hours, and are usually the only personnel left. No more police, no more investigators, no more public audience. If there are two technicians, they often separate and focus on different areas of the crime scene. This could lead one to be alone in a deep, dark and very scary alley. And do CST's carry firearms? No. I am however, licensed to carry a firearm. I own a S&W .38c revolver. I also take kickboxing and self defense classes. Did you know when officials are on the scene, children of all ages come out of nowhere into little swarms. It is so sad. Its the middle of the night in the worst areas of the city and these children, barely clothed and starved, are just roaming around. They beg any official they see to take them to jail, because jail is a warm bed and a hot meal no drugs, and no abuse. Why do you think half of the city's public school students have criminal records[presumption]? I've been able to witness this with my own eyes and i have a true passion that runs through my body. I want to speak for those who no longer have a voice and I want to add one extremely kind, fair, respectable and damn good cop to the shady mix of the BPD. When it all boils down to it, I am doing it for our future but you can only try to make yourself look cool with the cunning use of a keyboard. Did you know that in 1993 there was a recorded all time high of 379 homicides in Baltimore City. In 2009, there were 238 homicides. According to national statistics, there has been a 17% reduction of homicides since Commissioner Frederick Bealefeld III took office in 2007. Looks like things are improving after all. You should really know what you are talking about before you start typing away keep asking with your hilarious little game of sarcasm ill keep feeding back the answers to make you look like the dumb ass bitch that you are. Still a civilian don't have to be courteous to a cunt like you. By the way professor, is my grammar improving? I did after all graduate high school with honors in the top five percent of my class and did get an A overall, and an A on every essay in English 121, rather composition and literature. Trust me i'm not stupid.

kara said...

Oh this just came to thought. I am guessing that you are going to think that i am full of shit in reference to my gun. You are more then welcome to come on over and check it out. Shes a pretty little lady very cute, pink! A 638 Smith and Wesson .38 special revolver, a classic, except for the pink part. She can hold five rounds at a time, and is currently loaded with 125 grain lead hollowpoint rounds. I am known at the gun range and that pistol, though kept very safe and secure at all times, will be in my grasp when needed. I live completely alone in a wooded area and its very dark. Ive had a couple close calls, false alarms ,etc. and I have yet to fire my gun outside the range. I have also been raped two times, at ages 16 and 19, and neither of the men were ever found. I am preparing myself to be a calm steady person of the law, not some trigger happy badge flashing asshole cop that arrests a minority for minor possession while a rape or homicide is occurring a block away. Surprisingly there are still people like me who care about the way life will be in 5....10...15...20 (you get my point) years if you need me to explain myself anymore than that then you are just a miserable insecure bitch and i feel bad for you

kara said...

And I quote you; "Okay, kara, I'll play" And by the way, i thought names were proper nouns, hmmm maybe I am wrong. I just keep thinking of things to tell you about. Wow Chum, thank you for asking me to play. Trivia Question: Did you know that Anne Arundel County Police Department, coincidentally the county i live in, (whose police department is despicable) is the only county that requires a Bachelor's Degree to be eligible for a position. Most counties, Baltimore City as well, only requires a high school diploma, of course a background check and drug screening tests, and just a mere 2 months in a boot camp type environment then they are slowly but surely unleashed. Also CST's are usually field trained and Detectives are just officers that have been promoted. I'm going through grad school so I will already know how to correctly apply the technology and apply the specifics of science and that leaves me with linking many years of study, research, field labs, etc. to real life and i think I made it clear how I have been preparing. Right now i am focusing on entomology, and am studying the process of decay of a poor boar cadaver. (I am a really big animal lover this is a little tough, I don't have a problem with the deceased, except children...) It has been buried in a shallow grave in a fenced in area at my college since Monday. Aw, I bet you don't know what that means, you probably don't want to know which is why i will tell you that it is the forensic study of the life cycle of insects that feed from decaying flesh beginning almost immediately after death. Those who specialize in this field are able to determine the date and approximate time, if remains still exist, in which the victim died. Most particularly, flies lay they their eggs in any and every orifice accessible. This includes all body cavities and any open wounds. The amount of maggots that are reproduced and feed off one body is disturbing and for most, unimaginable. They literally grow overnight. In a warm humid climate, for example, Baltimore City summer, An average sized human being could be killed and its body could be stripped down to the bone in less then a week, possibly 3 to 5 days depending on habitat, presence of wildlife and weather. Seriously this is fun. You are helping me study and its giving me a refresher course. Oh, by the way if this career doesn't work out, I had a prior major in which i received a certificate and I am actually a Certified Chef. I worked a few years as a jack of all trades in a Zigot top rated Italian bistro and wine bar in Columbia, and as my last resort ill turn my modeling hobby into a profit.

ppatin said...

For the love of god, please use paragraphs. These walls of text are unreadable.

mjb said...

hey now, don't scare my troll away!
You sound very devoted, Kara, and the Baltimore Police Department will be fortunate to employ such a literate and emotionally balanced individual.

The Baltimore Cynic said...

WARNING - Do not feed the troll:

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:DoNotFeedTroll.png

kara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kara said...

BY THE WAY OLD MAN PP IS THAT BETTER

FOR YOU NOW CAN YOU READ? YOU KNOW

THEY INVENTED THIS THING CALLED ZOOM,

ALSO THERE IS COPY AND PASTE. YOU

ARE AFTER ALL AN ENGINEER RIGHT? YOU

SHOULD KNOW THAT GO PICK UP SOME DAMN

READING GLASSES...IF YOU CANT READ

THE TEXT THEN YOU SHOULD NOT

BE DRIVING! GEEZ THE POOR

ELDERLY...

The Baltimore Cynic said...

So... how about that Jack Johnson? What a tricky guy...

Cham said...

Ah, the caps lock. Not exactly an outside-the-box move. Please, kara, get help before you go all Annie McCann.

buzoncrime said...

mjb---do I detect a note of sarcasm in your voice!?