Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Norris for Mayor?

martinandedWow, we were sort of joking putting former Police Commissioner, soap salesman, actor, talk show host and convicted felon Ed Norris on the poll for who should be our next Mayor. After all, BCrime readers are against felons even voting, and anyway, a convict can't run for office without approval of the Governor (or in Ed's case, as it was a Federal conviction, the President himself).

But if Marion Barry could be Mayor of DC, why not Ed, here? It would be a great PR move (we've always felt BMore should embrace its edgy, shocking image), he's certainly one of the most beloved guys in town, and if we're going to live in a police state, we might as well have someone in charge who's seen something of crime and punishment.

And, the campaign would make a great reality show!

Coming in second place in the poll was an even bigger impossibility, Mary Pat Clarke. The inside word is Clarke is ready and psyched to retire and has zero interest in the job.
Smart lady.

mitchellSo that leaves Keiffer Mitchell Jr., left, as the only viable candidate, with an underwhelming 16 percent of the vote.
We don't know anything about him, other than he looks a lot like Jamie aka "16-piece chicken McNugget Head" from She's Gotta Have It, so we'd better do our civic duty here ...
Looks like he reps the 11th, went to BL (and we hear, taught there briefly), comes from an old well-to-do Baltimore policial family (as in, "Mitchell Courthouse;" see John Sarbanes), lives in Bolton Hill and has two preschool kids and his wife doesn't work.
And he's really young and into education.

YAWN!

Run, Eddie, RUN!
Run like your pants is on fire!

8 comments:

HoCoJoe said...

I can add to the info on Keiffer Mitchell. He grew up in Northwood, until he was ~6 or 7 when the family moved to Roland Park, and he likes mustard.

How do I know this? I grew up just up the street from him on Hillenwood Rd, and he taught me the joys of eating mustard straight. Ok, ok we were about 4 or 5 when the mustard thing occured.

The Cybrarian said...

Hey, I like mustard!

So would you vote for him, ho?

John Galt said...

Who you callin' a ho, byatch ??

Anonymous said...

I had a chance to meet Mitchell a few months ago - he was nice enough, and seems like one of the only practical members of the council. Personally, I wouldn't be disgusted if he were elected Mayor. All of the other people, though....

I also know Mildred Boyer - crazy what's happened with her, no?

John Galt said...

Sounds like a slogan-

Vote Keiffer...... At Least He Isn't Disgusting

John Galt said...

Two E. Balto. bros. shot separately.

John Galt said...

So, is the murder count 265 now? We're gonna beat last year's.

The Cybrarian said...

Actually Galt, I rawther thought we would shoot them. Pip, pip...