El Killer

Shooting: 1500 block Winston Ave. Man reported to be shot in the head. Homicide detectives called to the scene. Dispatch time 1:45pm.
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) June 21, 2014

An unidentified male victim found shot to death* in the first block of S. Monastery Ave. near New Cathedral Cemetery at around 2 a.m. today.

Marilyn Mosby's campaign dug up the rather unsettling story of Janice Bledsoe, a former assistant state's attorney (and girlfriend of WBAL's Jayne Miller) who was fired rather suspiciously by Gregg Bernstein while investigating an illegal-police-overtime case against officers Robert Quick and Ian Dombrowski. The accusation is that Bernstein and Quick were friends, and Bernstein cleared Quick even though the evidence against him was straightforward.* "Bernstein represented Quick when he was sued by the family of Larry J. Hubbard Jr., who was shot by Officer Barry Hamilton after police said Hubbard tried to grab Quick's gun during a frantic scuffle in East Baltimore in 1999. Hubbard was shot in the back of the head, and some witnesses disputed the police account, saying Hubbard was beaten and shot in cold blood." Hm. And, reports Jayne Miller, in the past week Quick was suspended.

After a week in which police shot a steer and an officer slit the throat of a subdued Shar-Pei mix dangling from a control pole, police revealed that they'd stopped ordering animal tranquilizers because of some unnamed problem with the supplier.* They're now re-evaluating. The steer and dog stories have made national and international news, officers Jeffrey "I'm going to fucking gut this thing" Bolger and Thomas Schmidt have been suspended, and SRB, fully aware that you can get away with anything around here but messing with people's dogs, apologized all the way from Dallas.

Eric P. Henry

Brian Reiser, 49, was killed in Arbutus and his body was dumped in one of our city's many vacants.* Three men, Kevin Pendergraph, Roy Munson and Eric Henry, have been charged, and boy are they weird-looking.

Also in AAC a woman was robbed while waiting in line to check out at a store.

A 33-year-old pregnant woman was found dead of injuries in Rosedale.

Four Hyattsville men-- Hector Daniel Villanueva-Cortez, aka Muertito, 24; Roni Arriola-Palma, aka Maniako, 24; Luiz Guzman-Ventura, aka Casper or Chele, 20; and Jose Rodriguez-Nunez, aka El Killer, 25, have been charged with criminal conspiracy, they're allegedly tried to the MS-13 gang.

Have you heard of a device called a 'stingray'? Supposedly it tricks mobile devices into thinking it's a cell tower, and emails show U.S. Marshalls conspiring with police to deceive judges about the use of them to avoid legal scrutiny. 

True-To-Life Replica

Eric Harris, shot by police, was carrying a "true-to-life replica gun,"* police say.

Overnight Shooting:3200 Blk.West Baltimore St. Adult male shot in abdomen and wrist. District Detectives are investigating.Disp time:11:02pm
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) June 18, 2014

SRB served up some pleather shrug realness at the Netflix/White House correspondent's party and in a Vanity Fair slideshow as one of the "Best Dressed Mayors." The Brew, in an uncharacteristically shallow and sexist turn, covered her coverage and weight loss then covered itself by noting that such coverage can "evoke cries of sexism." Also cries of lazy. Why not find out who made that dress and how much it cost? (It's like Herve Leger but bondage-ier. Johnathan Sauders Fall 2009?) How can she afford this stuff on a public servant's salary?

Four years after endorsing Gregg Bernstein the BPD says it's "neutral" on the State's Attorney's race.* Hrm. And speaking of, probably predictably, the Sun has endorsed Anthony Brown,* because Heather Mizeur "goes too far" and Brown has the "right priorities." Translation: Brown is going to win this thing and we don't want to lose access or have bad blood at the State House. Plus if we endorse Mizeur and Brown wins then the politicians might realize that the paper actually has very little influence any more.

Day 63 since I filed a state Public Information Act request with @BaltimorePolice for a handful of incident reports. Law allows 30 days
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) June 18, 2014

Another day, another set of "residents troubled" by Canton assault-robberies.

The liquor board has a new chief, and he's 87(!!). You go, great-grandpa.

You'll never guess-- or maybe you will-- how much more Maryland spends per prisoner versus how much per public school student. Or maybe you will.

"James"

"James"

A man was shot in the head* at Caroline and East Biddle Streets. Eight murders this past week.

Kevin Simpson, alleged killer of Oscar Torres, 15, and Shanizya Taft, 12, is now a suspect in the murder of Martel Jackson,* shot behind a Citgo.

Police have released a sketch of a Belair-Edison sex assailant who may go by "James." His victim talked to Fox, telling them "James" left his clothes outside her window, broke in and sucked on her breast. He went outside to dress and she called 911, but police didn't arrive in time. *shudder*

One Alphonso Russell Jr., 57, has been charged with 88 counts related to breaking into more than 20 cars downtown,* "just days after he received a 6-month jail sentence for breaking into cars on April 4." So.. what was he doing out and about in the first place? Some kind of Piper Kerman situation where you get sentenced but don't have to report to prison for a while?

So much for speed camera reform: Brekford, which still operates in Hagerstown, Salisbury and Laurel in spite of its Baltimore City system* issuing speeding tickets to cars that weren't moving, issued a press release crowing that their old contract still applies and that they can still operate on the bounty system for tickets.

Early voting is going on from now until June 19, from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., and apathy is running high. Here's your sample ballot. For what it's worth and if you care, this blog endorses Heather Mizeur for governor (or Hogan, if that's how you swing), Brian Frosh for Attorney General, Elijah Cummings, Gregg Bernstein for State's Attorney, and Page Croyder for Judge, skipping #5, Alfred Nance.

Media blabber: Sun editor Andy Rosen is leaving to work for the Boston Globe, today's his last day.

Peter Rottentail

Kevin Simpson

Four people were killed over the weekend, making 10 homicides in the first eight days of June. Per Justin Fenton, two have been ID'd: Ernest Barnes Jr., 24, was killed in the 2000 block of Prior Ave. and Jeffrey Ringgold, 29, was killed on Richwood Ave. Another as-yet-unidentified person was killed in the 2400 block of East Oliver Street, and on Friday afternoon a woman was found dead in the 3400 block of Reisterstown Road.

In case you missed it, Friday police arrested one Kevin Simpson,* who allegedly murdered 15-year-old Oscar Torres while robbing him and then later struck a minivan while trying to escape police (who were of course not high-speed chasing him at all), killing 12-year-old Shanizya Taft.

Shooting scene, Old Town Mall pic.twitter.com/tSuCNFKeJD
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) June 9, 2014

Police are ISO this guy (left) for a Catonsville bank robbery.

An armed carjacking in Ridgely's Delight.

Scanner: @BaltimorePolice working trail in Leakin Park came upon a running Jeep - with a stolen ATM machine sitting 10 yards away.
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) June 9, 2014

AAC police caught a guy with a neck tattoo connected with 30+ car burglaries in Glen Burnie. Baltimore police have basically given up on even bothering to catch car burglars, it seems. Also in AAC, a burgled church.

More than 40 people were arrested in drug raids in St. Mary's County.

Police in College Park are ISO a stolen 6" bunny costume.

Harboring Suspicions

Gregg Thomas

Police: Murder victim Ricky Carlos Hall was a transgendered woman called "Kandy"* Hall died of massive trauma. Equality Maryland is meeting with the police tomorrow* to discuss the case.

Thirty-six people from three drug crews have been indicted on cocaine and heroin, including the six from the crew selling "Merecdes " and "fever" who were indicted earlier in the week. Fourteen are still at large.

Gregg Thomas, the babyfaced public enemy #1 who turned himself in to WJZ's Rochelle Ritchie pleaded not guilty* police Sargeant Keith McNeill, who is still in the hospital.

SRB and Batts strolled around the Harbor with a large security detail to prove how safe it is.* Hyuk! :

"Downtown is so safe, we have 7 police vehicles going the wrong way on Calvert St as officials and media walk it" pic.twitter.com/GcaY7XnRCH
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) June 5, 2014

Quit getting drunk and falling into the Harbor,* people.

What the heck?! The city spent $50,000 for an artist to paint a mural on rowhouses that are about to be demolished.

So this is what a BGF tag looks like.

.@BaltimorePolice #bgf tag 23rd between St. Paul and Calvert pic.twitter.com/7L0XiMUEkc
— Rampage (@davis_randolph) June 4, 2014

Oh, and Anthony Brown was photographed in front of a stripper stage with a stripper on it at the Wynn hotel while at a shopping center convention in Vegas last year. But a classy stripper with a top hat and bow tie.

Sun Develops Gonads, Ovulates

Holy shit you guys, did you see the slams of Anthony Brown in the Sun today? Usually the Sun's opinions are hedged, bridled and given a shot of go-go juice before they go onstage, but their critiques of Brown have been heating up,* then yesterday someone replaced some editor's Preparation-H with Tiger Balm and today they're as are sore as a Tennessee horse. David Zurawik's takedown of Brown* is the hardest-hitting pan I've seen in a legitimate media source since Pete Wells went to Guy's American Kitchen and Bar, and the paper printed his answer to the health-care exchange question verbatim.*
     I've been a reporter, believe it or not, and the only reason you ever transcribe and print someone verbatim without prettying it up (and the only reason your editor would ever let you do that) is because you and your paper are thoroughly done with said someone. Because basically almost everyone sounds like a mutard verbatim, and no one will ever talk to you again if you print them full mutard. If you don't believe me, record yourself opining on any topic and transcribe it, you'll sound like Mr. Ed with a fishhook in your lip.

Get back to twerk!

   For what it's worth the Sun hasn't been softballing Gansler either, calling out his "sleek, well-fed look of upper-middle-class suburban privilege," a barb well-earned since he sent his kid to George Huguely IV*'s alma mater, a $34,1601-a-year school for aspiring date-rapists in a district so safe their schools don't even have recurring trash can fires or race riots. And they didn't gloss over the fact that Gansler dug himself deeper trying to explain that Bethany beach-house underaged ass-grinding teen-drinking party as being more acceptable because his progeny was a penis- toting American,* or that as Attorney General he doesn't need to take responsibility for other people's children (which would explain his continual employment of Carl Snowden, yet not why he keeps trotting out that poor 11-year-old sexually-molested girl every time he opens his beerhole. Isn't using some stock-photo model in public ads as "sexually molested girl" kind of molest-y in itself? Imagine her parents' surprise. "Oh look, a residual check! I wonder what Video Blocks used that adorable footage of Ashleigh playing that with that dinosaur for? OH MY GOD!!")
   Wait, what was my point?
   Could it be that Sun reporters and editors are just like us, tired of these entitled legacy candidates thinking they can roll in and that one beer and a beach house is enough for us to let them grind on our butts? Could the Sun really endorse Mizeur? Could she really win?
    Conventional wisdom (aka my Dad) says she has no chance. The Sun will never endorse her because the Tribune Corp would never allow it happen, she's not the establishment's person. Our rural jurors will never vote for her because she's a pro-pot lesbian. Dudebros and self-loathing ladies will hesitate to vote for any female candidate because deep down they've already concluded she's either too weak or too pushy. This is the Sun's last whinny before backing establishment candidate A or B.
  What do you think?

Hot and Humid

Mitchell, via Twitter

Two people were shot and killed last night,* police have ID'd them as Chealyn "Che" Mitchell, 28 (3700 Reisterstown Rd); Dale Webb, 35 (2200 Brookfield Ave).

One Jason Michael Durham, 34, was murdered in Middle River.

"Fun" fact: Taser® use in the state has doubled over the past five years.

Apparently there's been major tension* between black and latino students at Digital Harbor High, possibly touched off by the murder of Oscar Torres. Report: "only seven out of more than 100 Latino students showed up to Digital Harbor High School on Friday because they feared they would be attacked by black students."

So the city council passed that youth curfew, to the howls of protestors. It won't take effect until August, though, because the city has to build said curfew centers.

Do you know any of these dudes arrested in an AAC prostitution sting?

Fever For The Flavor of Heroin

Four homicides this weekend, a man fatally stabbed in the 1800 block of N. Fulton last night, a man shot in the head in the 100 block of South Kossuth St., Patricia Lynn Harwood, age 50 was, stabbed to death at 40 Stockton St.,* Eric Howard, 47, shot in the back at 109 Denison St.

Remember when the BPD swept up 48 BGF members last fall? (or tried to, anyway?) Well, Ian Duncan has been on the grind to bring us the deets, which involve eight years of building cases, a shooting victim murdered* allegedly after reporting his robbery and shooting to the police and girlfriends and moms screening calls.*

Six guys were indicted and the BPD is ISO five more on charges of operating a heroin and cocaine ring in west Baltimore. The ring allegedly had its own brands, "Mercedes" and "fever."
ps., I just realized that I'm so old probably no one gets the reference to the title of this blog post.

Lynette Witherspoon
looks like Large Marge

One Lynette Witherspoon, biomom, abducted her six-month-old daughter Zynia, daughter was later found safe and unharmed. Eight-year-old Victor Wilson also went missing and was found. Neither case triggered an Amber alert, though, which is odd.

You'll need a shower after reading this article in the City Paper about child molestation and its apologists in Baltimore's Orthodox Jewish community.

Two more candidates for parents of the year: AAC's Brooke Michael and Michael May, who smoked K2 (aka Spice) and passed out with their 8-month-old in the car.

Speaking of kids, explain to me, please, why so many people (including ACLU) are so against youth curfews? "House arrest," really? "Infringing on parental rights?" Where was the ACLU when big government took away my right as a parent to serve my kids Scotch and cigars after a hearty meal? Anyway, final vote on the law is tonight.

A Catonsville mailman stole 20,000 pieces of mail.*

Christopher Tonjes, the mayor's IT director, has resigned amidst allegations that his office paid contractors for jobs* that may or may not have been done a). at all and b). by the people who were hired to do them.

Also tonight at 7 on MPT, another gubernatorial debate, and Brown is showing up to this one, They Say.

A new law is taking effect that bans the speed-camera bounty, which was already banned but something something loophole.

Kids, Puppies and Old People

Ever have one of those days where you just hate Baltimore and everyone in it? (Except for you, of course, dear reader). The city has been a horror show this week, with children, the elderly and taxpayers as the primary victims. Plus a puppy.

Latoya Skipwith

One Lucresha Mints ran over three people-- two-year-old Joshua Carter and Latoya Skipwith, 25, and 7-year-old Nevaeh Green-- on purpose, killing Carter and Skipwith.* Skipwith's boyfriend told WMAR that the three of them had been involved in a love triangle but "that was in the past." Three weeks before, Mints had been charged with beating a 12-year-old girl (!!), leaving her face looking like this

.@KeithDFox45 reported on it at the time, posting this pic of the young victim: pic.twitter.com/AGQfd2PMnO
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) May 29, 2014

Update, Mints, who is a nursing assistant with two kids, is being held without bail.* Ps., according to the JIS, someone took out a Peace Order against her less than three weeks ago, probably related to the assault on the 12-year-old. Someone also attempted to take out a Peace Order against her in 2011 but was denied due to insufficient evidence. She's also been the complaintant in a few cases, including accusing one of her kids' dads of assault, accusing some lady of theft, assault and misuse of the telephone.

Shanizya Taft

Meanwhile, police are still looking for the man who shot and killed 15 or 16-year-old Oscar Torres and killed 12-year-old Shanizya Taft as he tried to flee from police. Police have not released a name or description of the suspect but are combing the car for clues.*

Boy was stabbed Baltimore and South streets. Taken to hospital, not-life-threatening, police say. pic.twitter.com/q2ctr4cKmu
— Colin Campbell (@cmcampbell6) May 29, 2014

Two boys have been arrested in this stabbing. Police say victim's in good condition. Friends say he's a 17-year-old, Digital Harbor student.
— Colin Campbell (@cmcampbell6) May 29, 2014

@inkyspider @justin_fenton scene outside my window about 15 min ago. Victim was on corner bleeding from neck pic.twitter.com/OBBkIAKohK
— shamir (@shammy77) May 29, 2014

A 94-year-old woman and an 81-year-old man were robbed and pistol-whipped in the NE.

An Essex man got 60 years for stabbing his girlfriend, Janet Palasik, to death.

Poor Govans elementary was burgled three times in one week.*

Jackasses stole 40 bikes from the Druid Hill bike share program and kicked a worker.*

LOL to this sitting judges ad. Hullo, none of the judges were judges before they were judges, being elected or appointed is how judges are made. Alfred Nance is who needs a skipping: he's been the subject of judicial investigations three times because of his "demeaning" treatment of female jurors,* ("During one jury selection, court transcripts show, he told a single woman "to stand up and let us see [you]. ... There may be a single guy out there.") had a woman handcuffed for saying "I love you," and unconstitutionally issued a gag order to Van Smith because he was a potential juror.

The mayor whooped it up in Vegas at a "legendary" party for 1,600 paid for by real estate developers and featuring showgirls plus a bucket of crabs marched in to the tweetelings of a fife and drum corps. In other news of the mayor spending other people's money, she's told city residents to buy homeowner's insurance* from a company the city has made a deal with in case the city's contractors can't lay the pipe without fucking shit up all to hell. Yet "City officials declined to provide a legal basis for why they believe homeowners could be stuck with bills if pipes break during a contractor's work." Somehow I think HomeServe is going to get the short end of this deal.

Scanner: Police saying a state trooper has taken himself to Shock Trauma with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to his leg #scanner
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) May 29, 2014

Departing city booze czar recounts the Liquor Board's most "outrageous" moments and potted-plant humping is involved. Meanwhile the board appears to be making up its own rules which (surprise!) make it harder for residents to complain about nuisance properties.

What Did I Miss?

A man was killed in a double shooting on South Mount Street early this morning, homicide #75.

Three people were shot to death last week*

Ray Rice held a press conference Friday that was a total disaster* by all accounts, in which he read from his cell phone "filled with self-pity," offered apologies for everyone but the victim and said "if you get knocked down you have to get back up." You can watch that hot mess here if you're a masochist. The Ravens then iced the poop cake by Tweeting this

Janay Rice says she deeply regrets the role that she played the night of the incident.
— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) May 23, 2014

and his lawyer served up the suggestion that his wife hit first,* as if that even matters when dude is three times her size.

WTF?! City Paper photographer Ryan "Rahrah" Stevenson was arrested for raping his own daughter, starting when she was 8 years old.

Jake Rogers

One Jake Rogers was arrested for a tripe shooting on Monroe Street, and one Ryan King was arrested for a triple shooting in Curtis Bay,* last week we had three triples over two days.*

Police took down two major heroin rings, one called the Gucci Boys, the other sadly un-monikered. Nicknames include "Flip," "Dev" and "Cruddy." If you now also have "Gucci Gucci" stuck in your head here's a link to that video so you can just watch it and get it over with, already. Swaggin.

A study has found that pedophiles perceive faces differently.

Julie Scharper profiled D. Watkins,* that writer who published "Too Poor for Pop Culture" in Salon, which a bunch of basic assholes said was fake, and "How Glamorizing Drugs is Killing Black Kids" and "Poor People Don't Work? Lessons of a Former Dope Dealer."

And finally, here's the ballot for the primary election June 24, study up!

Here's this picture just because. (Via Fenton's Twitter)

Devil Returns, Flosses

A violent weekend after what seemed like a few weeks of relative peace.

Homicide:1937 E. North Ave.,dispatched at 3:56am.Adult female victim found unresponsive.Homicide Detectives investigating.Suspect in Custody
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) April 27, 2014

Michael Small, 45, was charged.*

Homicide: Adult male was stabbed in the chest in the 1900blk of McKean Avenue. Dispatched at 2:14am. Homicide detectives are investigating.
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) April 27, 2014

He was ID'd as Dennis Leon Settle, 39.

Shooting: 2 adult males & 1 adult female walked into an area hospital with gunshot wounds at 2:16am. District detectives are investigating.
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) April 27, 2014

Shooting: Elmtree Street & Pennington Ave. Adult Male shot at 10:26pm. Southern District Detectives are investigating.
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) April 27, 2014

Shooting: Walk in at an area hospital, An adult male shot in the arm. District Detectives are investigating. Dispatch time: 11:59 pm
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) April 25, 2014

Family wants more attention paid to the case of Moon Hea Koo, a HoCo antiques picker found beaten and stabbed to death in the back of his car on Erdman Avenue* April 15.

Death row inmate John Booth-El found dead at North Branch,* his sister spoke with the Sun* last year.

Guess who's on trial again today? Michael Johnson, alleged killer of Phylicia Barnes.*

Taekwon "Pug" Ford of the "12 O'Clock Boys" documentary was injured and Tased® by police whilst dirtbiking Saturday night.

$$urgeFire Committee

Five months ago a $285k consultants' report commissioned by Batts and paid for by you lambasted the BPD for staffing 40% of its shifts with officers working overtime, wasting money, undermining morale and forcing police to operate in a reactive mode while chaos reigns.
    Now, as if that report never was, the department is asking for  $195k to "form a committee" to figure out how to do what Milwaukee is doing, $1.2 million in additional funds to staff even more overtime to fund policing "surges" (ooh, just like Iraq!!) and $418k to start up CeaseFire simultaneously with the Milwaukee plan. And they want $$ for some curfew centers too.

"For abducting a woman in broad daylight, taking her into a vacant, and forcing her to perform sexual acts, and then nearly stabbing her to death when she tried to escape, Kamal Muhammad 42, was convicted yesterday of attempted second-degree murder and fourth-degree sexual offense."

@baltimorepolice say the murder victim last night at 1:15 am at 615 Roundview Road was Najee Thomas of Baltimore, 14 years of age.
— Justin George (@justingeorge) April 22, 2014

Neighbors say 14 yr old Najee Thomas was shot trying to protect his Mother. pic.twitter.com/wkxfHohFdJ
— JoyLepolaStewart (@jlepolastewart) April 22, 2014

David of Halethorpe, alleged Paschall
family patriarch

Remember the Paschall family burglary ring? Carl junior has agreed to a statement of facts with all of the wire-cutting and blowtorching details. Is Carl Junior David's son, brother or nephew?* Shrug.

It's spring, so that means stun guns and drama at the Inner Harbor.

Urine Trouble

Shooting: 1900 block of Clifton Ave. Adult male shot in the chest. District Detectives are investigating. Dispatch time 11:21 am
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) April 21, 2014

Police made an arrest in the murder of RaySharde Kevin Sinclair, 18, last Monday.* One Jimy(sp?) James Jackson was charged. According to his obit, Sinclair was from Richmond, VA.

Michael Jefferson Jr, 39, was found shot to death in Windsor Mill/Woodlawn on the county side on Easter. Also in the area, a 54-year-old man was robbed and shot.

Remember alleged murderer/kidnapper Timothy Virts? He's been indicted on nine criminal counts, including first-degree murder.

There was an armed robbery at Lynne's on the Avenue in Hampden, of all places.


"Was the urination and defecation taking place every day?.. You never took a picture of anybody urinating?" Citizens of Pigtown complaining about a liquor store were subject to rigorous questioning by the Liquor Board.

WTF? In AAC a midshipman tried to attack a taxi driver with a butter knife.

Air Force NCO (whatever that is), William S. Gazafi, 44, pleaded guilty to charges related to sexually molesting infants and toddlers. Aieeee

The man from PGC with the face tattoos, Antoine Perry (or is it Petty?) has turned himself in.

The apparent reasons behind Chicago's improving murder rate will sound familiar to long-time BCrime blog readers.

On a happier note, someone in the county vandalized a speed camera on Easter morning.

Smartly Stupid

Michael Mayfield

Michael Mayfield, 17 and a senior at Edmonson High, was shot to death in the 2300 block of Lyndhurst yesterday afternoon in Windsor Hills*. His uncle says he saw the whole thing and that a man in a blue sweatshirt shot him four times and ran to a waiting car up the street; the uncle thinks it was mistaken identity.
    Fenton posted a video of peculiarly evasive police spokesperson at the scene (who is this guy?) and a photo of nine officers standing around while two men are sitting cuffed on the curb.

And a suspiciously dead person on the East side, near Crazy Ray's Auto Parts.

WTF?! A five-year-old had to have neurosurgery after "black juveniles" aged 10-14 threw concrete and rocks through the window of his home and into his skull on Edgecombe Circle. Question: if someone standing on the sidewalk in front of your house throws a rock through your window and fractures your preschooler's skull, is it legal to shoot and kill them from inside your house?

Here's a terrifying helmet cam video of a bicyclist having bottles thrown at him and then attacked by random teenaged hooligans on Guilford Avenue.

Officer Anthony Williams got 45 days in jail for "ratgate," claimed he'd beat up a handcuffed suspect again if he had the chance.

A man shot himself inside the bathroom of the ER at Johns Hopkins,* "days after the medical center held a national symposium on safety inside hospitals."

The City Paper helpfully published a guide to the new weed legislation so you can get "smartly stupid ... because, you know, you can really still fuck things up."

The New Yorker's Jeff Toobin hung out at the "gritty" North Avenue McDonald's talking to ex cons for his Tavon White article.

A fatal home invasion in Salisbury.

County firefighter Nicholas Hannigan-- a deputy chief-- claims that lighting random fires at unoccupied homes is a firefighter "rite of passage."Okay then.

Today in bullshit, Fox News is targeting Elijah Cummings and claiming he was involved with the IRS "targeting Conservative groups." Never mind that that claim has been thoroughly debunked and progressive groups such as Occupy and the Coffee Party were targeted also, and never mind that if your group's name is Taxed Enough Already any extra IRS scrutiny you might get is well deserved -- manufactured butthurt is the Fox network's oxygen. When did you stop beating your wife, Elijah Cummings? 

Profiles in Ass-Kissery

A man was stabbed to death in the 1500 block of Pennsylvania Avenue.

Prolific serial robber has hit eight area banks.

So the session has ended, with $19 million going to film credits* (House of Cards alone claims to have spent $155 million in the state). Compare that to the Harbor Point project, an office complex for Excelon which had no choice but to be situated in the state and will net $393 million in taxpayer funds.* 

A crowd of about 200 is now booing the mayor pic.twitter.com/hTmuFRt0On
— Luke Broadwater (@lukebroadwater) April 8, 2014

Old Man Gotten By Big Bear

A woman shot last Wednesday in the Berea neighborhood was ID'd as Jasmine Grimes, 21.*

Two Three people hospitalized over the weekend* after being shot: a man on Cedonia Avenue shot in the back in front of his girlfriend by a masked man and a man in the 1100 block of Hollins St. And police found a victim shot dead behind a house on Kirk Avenue, the ME is trying to figure out when he died. We're up to 47 official murders.

Kasiem Davis

Shooting: 1600 block Hazel Street. Man reported to be shot in the stomach. Southern district detectives investigating.
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) April 6, 2014

Police are ISO one Kasiem Davis for attempted murder and violation of probation.

They're also ISO a guy in a red hat who robbed the dollar store.

So the House has voted to decriminalize the marijuanas, which is kind of amazing. Joe Vallario, defense attorney, has stood in the way of reform for ages and was fixing to table the issue yet again, this time for two years. But House Speaker Mike Busch out-weaseled the weasel, assigning the bill to two committees. Well played. ("As Saturday’s events were unfolding, one of Vallario’s colleagues on his committee could be overheard telling him: 'Sometimes you get the big bear, and sometime the big bear gets you.'")
    And here's a funny thing, assuming O'Malley signs the law and makes it a mere ticket to possess the sticky icky icky, drug "paraphernalia" -- papers, bongs, even the baggie the weed rides around in-- would still be a misdemeanor to possess. So you'll have to smoke it by holding a flaming bud between your fingers, I guess.
   But this is still good news. If nothing else it let the local news media give the green light to metaphors about criminalization going up in smoke.
   Oh, and guess who didn't vote? Admiral Drinky Dranky, who spends his weekends in the clink,* no doubt in the company of pot smokers with poor timing.

It sounds like an urban legend and police won't confirm it but neighbors swear that some old fat guy is trying to poison dogs in Hampden with dosed chunks of sausage.

A 33-year-old female science teacher at Archbishop Curley, Lynette Trotta, is facing criminal charges for sexytimes with a 17-year-old student.

City school bus drivers won a $1,250,000 settlement against their bus company employers for unpaid overtime.

So Revenge of the Nerds: cell phone peepers have been creeping and peeping in the women's bathrooms and showers in College Park.

Amy Holland

County alleged serial business robbers Nick Hornberger and Amy Lynn Holland indicted, linked to six robberies.

Police are ISO these robbers who mugged a guy in Owings Mills. Hey, when's the last time the city police released images of someone wanted for robbery of a person?

Not sure where Walkersville is, but their rapist sketcher is much better than our rapist sketcher. Also if you live in Walkersville beware the pointy-headed trail pervert.

Magnificent Seven

Three people shot in four hours Monday* night, one fatally. But hey--

Baltimore Police have reported 6 homicides for the month of March. How rare is that? It's never happened before in 44 years of data
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) April 1, 2014

Update: Per @justingeorge, one of the victims who self-transported to the hospital last night died. Revise March total to 7 victims
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) April 1, 2014

Still! Was it the new crime plan? The horrible weather? Something else?

Everyone at Stevenson University freaked the fuck out* yesterday after reports of man with a gun-- turns out it was a couple of guys hunting in the nearby woods.

And old Joan Carter Conway is at it again, trying to keep booze bars in Belvedere.* Carter is the wife of city liquor inspector Vernon Conway* and has a history of supporting wack hooch laws and praying to decide how to vote.

Did the Sun ax the City Paper's April Fools issue, or is that the joke? In other Sun news, a chicken on a toilet.

A silver alert has been issued for 92-year-old Grant Brucker, last seen on Joppa Road in Towson.

Also in Towson, a turned-over dump truck full of dirt.

Stolen deaf puppy returned to Timonium couple.

Fifty guns found in Cecil Co home.

The Bold and the Stupidful

Police say they are increasing police presence around the 3400 block of Mary Ave in #BPDNED after 2 sexual assaults in the past 15 months
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) March 28, 2014

Sketchy rapist

.. this is the fat rapist in the Northeast with Jocelyn Wildenstein lips who has broken into (at least) two women's homes* and assaulted them (left). Is it too judgy of me, or is it okay to say that the sketches coming out of the police department in the past year or so have just not been very good?

Another DUI* for 98 Rock DJ Stephen "Stash" Smith.

"Federal fake-pot crackdown continues"

Palmer?
Damn nearly killed 'er!

Blargh, Janay Palmer, the woman who was cold-clocked by Ray Rice in an Atlantic City elevator, married him on Friday. In case you were wondering, NJ's marital-privilege law doesn't apply to domestic abuse and wouldn't apply to an incident that happened before they were married. And the incident was caught on video anyway. So I guess she did it for love. Or money. Or stupid. Barf. Gag.

Senator Jamie Raskin and Delegate Sandy Rosenburg have introduced measures to require a warrant for drone tracking but nobody's going for it.

Passage of trans-rights bill has reportedly riled the crazies. But the bathrooms! Won't someone please think of the bathrooms?! Come quickly Lord Jesus!!  /s

Larence Godfrey

Dayum, in AAC an inmate scaled razor wire.* He put a blanket over it, but still, that's pretty hardcore there Larence.

Booze Cruise

Police now confirming a stabbing homicide in the 2100 block of Aliceanna St in Fells Point this morning at 2:30 a.m.
— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) March 27, 2014

Update, there's someone in custody* for the above stabbing.

Johniece Sheppard, 21, was killed and two others, a 17-year-old girl and man, were shot in a brutal home invasion* Tuesday night in the 3800 block of 8th street in Brooklyn. An alleged BGF member, one Laser Womack, has been arrested and charged.

Oh, and there were *no* shootings last weekend.

Ian Duncan explores how accused cop-shooter Gregg Thomas (and a bazillion other perps) got out of jail after serving less than 10 years for murder on account of his "good behavior."* 

Just because some guy's last name is Humbert does not make it okay to trump up charges against him and nickname him the "Charles Village Rapist." Quarles' ruling has some interesting details about the case, and wait a minute, does this mean that the Charles Village Rapist is still out there?

Down in Lothian a helpful neighbor whacked his neighbor's stalker with a pipe-- and is now facing attempted murder charges.

Edwin Lamont Fletcher

Police are ISO one Edwin Fletcher, 31, who allegedly assaulted cops and rammed a car in Salisbury while trying to escape arrest on felony drug charges. Probably he's in Baltimore city, because everyone loves to flee to Baltimore city.

With the Nikita Levy case closed we're learning that dude had more than 1,200 images and videos* in his collection.

It's about time! Ozzy Osbourne Inc. has sent a cease-and-desist to the Brewer's Art for their Ozzy ale, which rather shamelessly features an image of his hand on the damn can.

Some enterprising boozehounds stole half a million buck$ worth of Hennessey cognac from FP Winner LTD. That 2,142 cases.