7th Bounty Hunter Charged

A shooting and stabbing last night at Greenmount & 33rd

The Ink has last week's five murders.
.. srly, does anyone else find the repeated references to race kind of odd?

IV: "BOUNTY HUNTED - Feds join Bounty Hunters murder case as 7th suspect charged"
Background on the Bounty Hunters
Another alleged Baltimore Bloods murder trial today in Hoco.

Officer Patrick Dotson, right, "charged with attempted murder Monday put his gun to the head of a prominent west Baltimore businessman just eight hours earlier, an attorney said." Also, that skeevy 2/3rds of a moustache is not doing him any favors.
Another officer, Fontaine W. Smallwood, was also suspended as a result of the Canton incident.

Carjacking, robbery and burglary in the blotter

January's raid on an Eastern Shore turtle factory was part of a broader effort: Operation Shellshock.

RIP Circuit Court Judge Roger W. Brown

49

Yesterday's murder victim has been named as 23-year-old Kara Lawson.

Missed this report from last week: Andrew Goodwin, 22, was shot on Friday March 13 on Normandy Avenue and died.

City officer Patrick Dotson to be charged with attempted murder, accused of firing his service weapon during an off-duty fight outside a Canton nightclub this month

The BPD reports
"SHOOTING: Police investigating at 1600 block of Ruxton Ave. Adult male shot in upper body." The Sun has TV in the newspaper

At the Byers trial, "17-year-old Johnathan Cornish sat in the witness box and vacantly described how he killed [Carl Lackl] as part of a Baltimore Bloods gang mission."
The defense says Byers didn't have a motive.
More on cell phones in prisons from hermann

Charging docs: At age 14 Radames Reyes shot and killed 22-year-old pizza deliveryman Adam Diarra

Media Blabber: Ben Cardin says newspapers should be given nonprofit status

Having a flare-up

Spotcrime has heat maps, making the city's murders look like a case of hives

Says the SAO:
Judge Martin P. Welch sentenced Michael Truesdale, 40, of the 700 block of Appleton Street to 29 years in prison, the first 10 years without the possibility of parole.A city jury convicted Truesdale January 23, 2009 of three counts of use of a handgun in the commission of a crime of violence, two counts of second-degree assault and one count of attempted robbery deadly weapon. The jury acquitted Truesdale of attempted first and second-degree murder counts. The State had asked for 40 years in prison. Details:

On July 27, 2007 Baltimore Police responded to an apartment at 826 W. North Avenue for a reported non-fatal shooting. Upon arrival, the victim advised police that a man, later identified as defendant Truesdale, knocked on the door, pushed his way into the apartment, grabbed the victim by the hair pointing a handgun at the victim’s head while demanding money and property. A second victim in the apartment heard yelling and came to the first victim’s aide [sic]. The second victim gave $5 to Truesdale, who demanded more money. The second victim attempted to get Truesdale out of the apartment at which time Truesdale started shooting, hitting the second victim. Both victims positively identified Truesdale as the person responsible for this incident. Assistant State’s Attorney Jessica Paugh of the Firearms Investigation Violence Enforcement (FIVE) Division prosecuted this case.

48

The woman found shot on N. ElLwood Ave. has died.

Justin Fenton guest-blogs for Hermann re. the perils of crime reporting

County
Sounds like Sunday's murder in Wilkens may have been a case of self-defense

IV: Part II of the series, "What the ef is up with Edgewood?"

Police are ISO two guys (including one with a really bad haircut, right) who robbed a barber shop

N. Elwood?

Tweets our Facebook friend the BPD: "SHOOTING: Police investigating @ 500 block of N ELWOOD AVE."
Google maps says there's no such street in the city. Are there unexplored, primordial and unGooglized parts of the city?

47

A body was found by train tracks in Cherry Hill. Also a 3rd body found in the Harbor, cause of death unknown.

Kevin "I've got a fetish for blood" Johns, found not criminally responsible by reason of batshit insanity in the death of inmate Philip Parker was found dead at Supermax.

Opening statements to start today in the Patrick Byers trial.
UPDATE: Prosecutors say Byers was somehow able to get another cell phone at Supermax, which he used to threaten another witness and make "thousands" of calls over the past month!

"A federal judge has granted class action status to two categories of people in a civil suit that claims officers at Baltimore's Central Booking and Intake Center regularly and illegally detained certain arrestees too long and strip-searched people without cause."

Two county murders Sunday night: James Faulcon, 28, shot in his car, and a man robbed and stabbed to death in Wilkens

Investigative Voice: What happened to Edgewood?

NYU study: MD's monthly parolee fee should end, as "some consider committing crimes to pay."

We hear Judge Prevas was in he hospital over the weekend. Feel better, Judge!

46

The Baltimore Spectator reports the city's 46th homicide, Marty Williams Jr., 20-something. This is apparently the murder on Maisel St. the police Tweeted about.
ps. be forewarned, this video takes a very long time to load.

Coconuts Killer in Custody

Arrested for the triple shooting and murder outside Coconuts, one Sharone Newton, 34. A source tells us that the shooting was not the result of a dance floor bump, as charging documents report, but was instead rooted in a long-festering love triangle.

And for the quadruple shooting in the 4000 block of East Lanvale Street on February 26, one David Hunter, 21

Woman shot in the face

A woman was found shot in a car near the intersection of Parkwood and Edgemont avenues this afternoon. Her injuries are serious but she is apparently still alive.

Says my Facebook friend (the BPD): "SHOOTING: Police investigating a shoting in the 2600 block of Maisel St. PIO not responding"
(What's PIO?)

East Side Badness

A man was stabbed by three people in the 2400 block of East Baltimore St. on the north side of Patterson Park.

Shooting victim on Rutland and Oliver subject of BPD's first Twittered incident.

Police have officially ended their investigation into Annie McCann's death

"The House Judiciary Committee voted 14-7 Friday to support a bill that restricts the use of the death penalty to murder cases with biological or conclusive videotaped evidence."

Fabulosity! The City That Breeds has mapped Baltimore neighborhoods on Google!

"There's no overall plan"

Page Croyder has lots to say to the Investigative Voice.

And LOLZ!! "Jenna Bush Secret Service limo towed for unpaid parking tickets"
... er, make that a van

man shot in East Baltimore

Northwestern High catfight broken up with mace

Charges dropped against the alleged killer of Jasmine Harris, apparently no one photographed footprints in the snow.

Eric "Nation of Cowards" Holder visits Baltimore

Body afloat near dragon boats, the 2nd Harbor corpse in 10 days

Dog-shooting leads to the state Senate approving a bill to require law enforcement agencies to issue monthly reports to the attorney general on SWAT team deployments.

Ew. McCormick sues equipment manufacturer over paint chips in cinnamon

This press release from the SAO should be in the reading-comprehension section from the SAT. Try to follow this plot:

On February 20, 2009 Linwood Buckson, 39, of the 3200 block of the Alameda was convicted of car theft and second degree [sic] assault following a Baltimore City jury trial prayer from district court. (Case number 809050026) He was sentenced to three years in prison by Judge Alfred Nance. Today, in a violation of probation hearing before Judge Charles G. Bernstein, Buckson was found guilty of violating his probation for this new conviction and sentenced to the balance of the
9-year suspended sentence he received on January 16, 2007.

Buckson faces 9 years in prison after rigorous prosecution and law enforcement coordination between local, state and federal agencies that serve on the Baltimore Violent Repeat Offender Task Force.

The facts are as follows:

On January 14, 2009 at 9:20 am, Officer Garrett was dispatched to the 500 block of North Ave for a reported stolen automobile taken December 27, 2008. The officer observed the Black Suzuki at a red light being driven by Linwood Buckson. The officer with the assistance of back up attempted to initiate a traffic stop of the vehicle by activating lights and sirens but Buckson refused to stop the vehicle. Mr. Buckson then rammed the driver side of a marked patrol vehicle occupied by Officer Moody in an attempt to flee. Even after ramming the police vehicle, Buckson began running on foot until he was ultimately apprehended in the rear of the 3300 block of The Alameda. Officer Moody did not sustain any serious injuries. The victim’s car suffered severe damage.

At the time of arrest Mr. Buckson was on probation for theft over $500 involving a vehicle. He was placed on probation January 16, 2007 after receiving a 10-year sentence with 9-years [sic], 6 months suspended.

The facts of that case are as follows:

On October 31, 2006 at 12:30 AM, in the 2500 block of West North Avenue, a patrol officer was performing random stolen checks on vehicles. The tag of the car Buckson was observed driving was reported stolen on October 30, 2006. Buckson gave the police officer a license belonging to someone else. Buckson’s driver license had been revoked and suspended.

Mr. Buckson’s arrest record spans 21 years with 29 arrests. His convictions include robbery deadly weapon, possession with intent to distribute, three convictions for CDS possession, theft over $500, unauthorized use, trespass, and two convictions for violation of probation.

During his violation of probation hearing today, the Honorable Judge Bernstein sentenced Linwood Buckson to nine years in jail consecutive to the sentence he is currently serving.

?!

What the?! Teenage girls support Chris Beat-her-down Brown. Huh? Wha? And would HB 845 make any difference?

Noel lawsuit underway

Hermann: the wrongful-death suit of Cheryl Noel's family against the BCPD is underway in District Court. Noel has become a national symbol of the civilian casualties of the drug war and the perils of "no-knock" warrants. Word has it that the officer who shot Noel, Carlos Artson, received a Silver Star for shooting the Bible-toting mom.
Blog The Agitator has salvaged Joe Giordano's pieces from the Dundalk Eagle

How tough is the economy? Even the drug dealers are hurting in what FHBIII calls a "cocaine drought."

A triple drive-by shooting on Marble Hall Road

Police: cuckold to blame for the stabbing death of William Smith Tuesday

43, 44, 45

Two men killed at the Yau Brothers Chinese Food Carryout on 29th and Greenmount,
a man stabbed to death in the 6500 block of Cleveland Ave.

Eastern District police commander Dan Lioi has been suspended pending an investigation into text messages he exchanged with Cleaven Williams, Jr., accused of killing his wife outside a North Avenue courthouse last year.

City council: no parking fine amnesty

... going away this week. Check out the many fine blogs & sites at right, and please don't rob my house. -- MJB

Quote of the month

"Facebook, we're gonna get MySpace, LinkedIn -- all of the social networking sites... to really get our message out there."
-- Baltimore City Police Spokesman Anthony Guglielmi

42

A man shot in the 1900 block of Pulaski Street at around 10:20 p.m has died.

Police are looking for Rochelle Denise Battle, 16.

Don't miss Buz's latest notes on crime & security.
Also worthwhile commentary on the media situation from Clay Shirky

New Blog Alert

The Baltimore Scofflaws, fighting parking ticket fine insanity!
Writes the founder,

Last week, we the current and former citizens of Baltimore were informed the city will be extorting us to fill its dwindling coffers. Their weapon of choice comes in the form of excessive late fees associated with a variety of parking tickets, in some cases, many years old. According to NBC, 80,000 of us have been contacted concerning 183,000 citations totaling $132 million dollars. Some of us have now been individually saddled with THOUSANDS of dollars in fines to ease City Hall's debt ... we are furious the city views our bank accounts as their personal ATMs, for which THEY write the rules for withdrawal.

Fatal Police Shooting #5

"A Baltimore City man was shot and killed by police Saturday morning after he barricaded a 4-year-old inside his home with a machete, police say."
and guess what? the BPD identified the officer involved in the shooting as Garfield O'Toole.

Ew du jour: a Goucher prof was fired after admitting to having <600 child porn pix on his PC.

Delegates: Help us, Rod!

"Calling an uptick in police shootings troubling, two state delegates and the head of the local NAACP called on the federal government today to investigate a recent fatal shooting by a Baltimore police officer who has shot three people since June 2007."

41

14-year-old shot in the SW!

The stabbing death of 17-year-old Shawn Green (#14) has been ruled self-defense, he's being removed from official murder rolls.

Hermann: The Baltimore Police Department wants to be your Facebook friend

And the Sunpapers invite you (yes, you!) to sit in on the daily front-page meeting!

Parking Fine Insanity!

Baltimore's ballooning parking fines may be the highest in the country, and now the city is threatening to sue scofflaws for an average sum of $1,625 per violation. (Even, presumably, violators whose license plates were stolen by MVA employees!)
City spokesman: "we have a budget deficit."

Baltimore encourages surrender

"To ease warrant backlog, Baltimore encourages surrender" (by fugitives).

Use in a sentence: "particular heterosexual contribution"

Asking for Trouble

Police are ISO a man wanted for shooting two people.
And WBAL asked someone to come and steal two laptops. Da!

Hermann has lots to say about naming police who shoot citizens.

At a City Council hearing [Tuesday March 10] ... members were angry at the department's explanations. They should have also been angry at themselves for the childish way they acted at a previous hearing when they blew their chance to ask Commissioner Frederick H. Bealefeld III tough questions about this policy. Instead, they bought the department's line to the point where they fawned over the top cop and abdicated their roles as public watchdogs.

The police now say they will review the policy. And the feud between Jack Young and FHBIII heats up! You know you're in trouble when dad's "disappointed"

Do you really want to relive the horror of the Palczynski hostage situation, nine years ago this month? If so, check out WBAL's special, "A Legacy of Pain"

Big damage$ in the Jacksonville leaky Exxon case.

Gansler will be testifying in A-town in favor of HB 1055, aka the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act.

Sixth 'Bounty Hunter' Arrested

A sixth suspect arrested in the "Bounty Hunter" killing, in which Petro Taylor was set on fire while he was still alive. Two guys, Terrell Greg and Anthony O. Williams, are already in custody, as are three teenage girls, (left to right) Sierra Pyles, 19; Tenisha Lawson, 18; and Grechauna Rogers, 16.
More from Justin Fenton

So today and tomorrow the legislature is holding hearings on the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act. Oddly, there doesn't seem to be a word on this in the Sunpapers.

The Heroes Who Shall Remain Nameless

Irony alert: police officers "receive highest honor for actions under fire," but 1/4 of the recipients would not be name-able under the department's new policy.
(And doesn't this WMAR story read like it was translated from a Chinese newspaper?)

"Two men were shot Tuesday night while standing at an intersection in the Ellwood Park-Monument neighborhood in East Baltimore."

This week's four murders in the Ink.
The words "African-American" take up a lot of space.

Man who lied about the murder of his son gets 5 years

Outrage of the day: of course energy bills are going up, BGE has a lot of political contributions to make!

Trial Date Set for Mayor

Sept. 8. Lipscomb and Holton got dates too.

Pant Fires in the BPD

Accusations of police lying about evidence, parts I and II.

42

Shawn Cannady, shot by an unnamed officer on Friday, has died of his injuries, the fourth fatal police-involved shooting this year.
Meanwhile,
Heavy hitters took to the Marc Steiner show this evening to discuss the new Baltimore Police non-disclosure policy: Anthony Guglielmi, Director of Public Affairs for the Baltimore Police Department; Robert Cherry, President of the Baltimore Fraternal Order of Police and a former homicide detective; David Rocah, staff attorney for the Maryland ACLU; and David Simon (read the essay).
If you're short on time, skip to the last half.
Are the police going to live up to the promise to volunteer all info journalists deem pertinent other than a name? And if they don't, then what? It's not really a negotiation, is it?
More thoughts on this issue from Buz

Non-intentional non-justified homicide #42 was Roger Dennis, shot at age 13 in 1997 in the 300 block of W. North Avenue, who died last August from his injuries.

Because of the definitions of criminal homicide as per the FBI, Dennis is on 2009's homicide tally, Cannady is not.

Feds Subpoena Flex Squad Records

"A federal grand jury has subpoenaed run sheets, log books, and personnel files of at least five members of the Baltimore Police Department's disbanded Southwest 'Flex Squad' ..."

Murder of 17-year-old Herbert Carsten Jr. (39) may have been gang-related

Your tax $ at work: "Suit reveals millions in city pension giveaways"

County
"Baltimore County Police are asking for the public’s help in identifying a vehicle and two men wanted for the assault on a Baltimore County police officer that occurred on March 1 at approximately 2:16 a.m. in Precinct 9/White Marsh."

Have you seen this short, pudgy (alleged) perv with circumflex brows?

41

A man shot to death in the 3300 block of E. Baltimore St. last night

A man arrested for setting his 85-year-old grandmother on fire

A man shot at a thrift store on W. North Avenue

A man shot in the face at Park Heights & Reisterstown Rds.

Jury selection has begun for trial of the man accused of ordering the murder of Carl Lackl from jail

"Maryland police databases have rich harvest of names"

Stolen cars and robberies in the Blotter

Maryland Title Co. of Baltimore loses license over allegations of stealing <$700k

Orthodox law firm takes Shabbat seriously

Homicide victim #39 was Id'd as Herbert Carsten Jr., age 17, a life apparently not worth more comment than the insomnia its end inflicted.

40-- oh shiz!!

A fight on the dance floor led to murder in the street after closing at Coconuts, and the gunwoman is at large!

39

A quadruple shooting has one fatality so far in the Southeast

Another police-involved shooting, and the third in four years for the unnamed 28-year-old officer. What's his/her deal? A training issue? An itchy trigger finger? Bad luck?
And why would the police department under FBIII divulge this officer's brow-raising track record?

A personal e-mail plea from Delegate Craig Rice set the tone for the preservation of MD's death penalty

What the?! The vice president of Baltimore's NAACP chapter arrested for heroin, bupe & mj possession

Jury Convicts Man for Murder of Byron Dickey

The SA's office reports that a Baltimore City jury today convicted Donnell Johnson, 35, of the 700 block of E. 21st St. of first-degree murder and use of a handgun in the commission of a crime of violence. The jury deliberated approximately three hours after hearing three days of testimony before rendering its verdict. Johnson faces a maximum possible sentence of life in prison without possibility of parole. Judge John C. Themelis scheduled sentencing for May 7, 2009. Details:

On August 12, 2007 at or around the 2100 block of Barclay Street Johnson became involved in a fight with the victim, Byron Dickey. During the fight Johnson brandished a .32 caliber handgun at which time Dickey began to run. Johnson chased Dickey, firing the handgun repeatedly at him as they ran. Dickey was struck three times and eventually collapsed due to his injuries. Police arrived on scene and secured the area and medics transported Johnson to John Hopkins Hospital, where he was pronounced dead. Lead detective Donald Bradshaw pulled footage from police pole cameras on both Barclay and Greenmount Streets and video footage did capture a portion of the incident where an individual generally matching the description of the defendant was running down Barclay Street with their right hand extended in a manner consistent with possessing a handgun. Further investigation revealed witnesses who were able to positively identify Johnson as the individual who shot and killed Dickey.

A most unusual trial for MD: an anonymous jury and the feds seeking the death penalty in the case of Patrick Byers Jr., accused of ordering the murder of Carl Lackl from jail.

Only in Baltimore: the twisted tale of attorney Kim Y. Johnson's apparent conflicts of interest between the police department and her own clients.

Should police still be investigating-- and should Hermann still be writing-- about the death of Annie McCann?

3rd time's a charm

Gunman charged in third murder

Your daily badness

Ink: two murders last week, both stabbings
Meanwhile, two alleged stabbers apprehended.
Alleged murderer Lewis Brock, alias Keshawn Brown, Luis Brown and Lamar Smith, has been arrested about 20-something times for guns and drugs, and in 2002 for attempted first-degree murder with a handgun, a case that was noll pros'd.
The other accused deadly shanker, Eddy M. Castillo-Diaz, is an illegal immigrant from Honduras.

330 pounds? That's a lot of coca!

So let me get this straight, if you have less than an ounce of marijuana and a case of insomnia, your biggest worry is being fined $100?

On the left coast, gay rights, Chris Brown go to court.

how about them earmarks?
A million buck$ for the Cal Ripken foundation of mentors as 'crime prevention' -- is Cal Sr. running the PAL centers now?
vs.
1/4 of that for the ferkakata crime lab
and 34.7 times that much for a Metrorail. Because the metro has been such a success.

... Just how selected is this list?
... is that the sum total of 'criminal justice' earmarks?
Nothing was requested for juvenile justice, the courthouse, etc.?
Where was Cummings, aka the one who was supposed to have his snout in the trough for us?

Welcome, tourists

A body was found near Broadway pier in Fells Pint. "Initially, they thought the person may have been unconscious, but the person had died."

50 Years for Murder of Edward Jeter

From the SA's office:
"A Baltimore City jury today convicted Troy Levi Dukes, 39, of the 3600 block of Echodale Avenue of second-degree murder and use of a handgun in the commission of a crime of violence. Judge Charles G. Bernstein sentenced Dukes to 30 years for second-degree murder and 20 years for use of a handgun in a crime of violence consecutively for a total of 50 years in prison. The jury deliberated two days before returning with a guilty verdict.

Dukes shot and killed Edward Jeter, 28, on March 31, 2006 at a residence in the 900 block of Luzerne Ave. Police responded to the scene and discovered Jeter lying face down on the floor suffering from a gunshot wound to the head. Witnesses identified Dukes as being in the residence arguing with Jeter immediately before hearing a gunshot."

Sounds like...

... we're keeping the death penalty but making it harder to apply.
Hassan Giordano: Dems dropped the ball

Tats for Tots

"TATS FOR TOTS - Illegal tattoos show juvenile gang membership growing"

"CRACKING THE SHIELD - The inside story of how Baltimore Police Officers William King and Antonio Murray were sentenced to a combined 454 years in prison on corruption charges."

County police are ISO a couple of chunky-looking white guys believed responsible for a series of burglaries in Cockeysville.

How sweet! UHF celeb/Personal injury lawyer Stephen L. Miles gave up ambulance-chasing to be a dad.

Is the Chandra Levy mystery finally going to be solved?

What the?! In PGC, a woman found her missing, murdered daughter's body in home they shared

Morning Media Blabber

Hearst media to begin to charge for digital news.

... meanwhile, Reader's Digest may file for bankruptcy!

Only 1 in 27?

Study: 1 in 27 Md. adults in correction system ... in 2008, it cost $86 to confine an offender in Maryland per day
(incredibly, the percentage of city residents is not much higher-- about 1 in 22, if this article's estimate of 28,000 is accurate)

A man shot during an attempted robbery/carjacking, a stickup in the ToonTown Center garage.

More on the Bounty Hunters, a citywide subset of the Bloods "ruthless enough to burn one of their own alive"

Senate to "employ a rarely used legislative maneuver" to bring death penalty bill to a vote

Last year's bogus-parking-ticket scandal may have been the result of MVA employees stealing license plates

Paige Croyder: maybe expungement isn't such a great idea

Hermann ranks the state's biggest drug busts
("reefer"? "grass"? Is that what the kids of today are calling it?)

#38

A stabbing incident in Hampden left 29 year old Nelson Gause dead (#38) and one injured on Sunday morning.

The End of Transparency

David Simon: "If those who are authorized and trained to carry a badge... are now too frightened to have their identities known to the public in conjunction with the use of force, then how can anyone in Baltimore law enforcement justify asking an unarmed, unsworn citizen to testify in court as a witness?

and
"In Baltimore, No One Left to Press the Police"

#37, shootings, and why O'Malley said "O'Dear..." today

Frederick Jeffrey Archer of North Arlington Avenue was found fatally stabbed in his apartment yesterday.

Last night in East Baltimore
four men on the 400 block of East Lanvale Street were shot. All four are expected to survive.

In a time where thousands of customers are impacted by astronomical energy rates, Governor O'Malley decided to fight the powers that be... on the Death Penalty. A staunch supporter of repealing it, the governor was hoping that this would be the year that it was finally repealed.
unfortunately for him, the Maryland Senate preferred not to. However, this is not it since it may still go before the Full Senate. Martin, you'd best get your guitar and tightest black t-shirt - you'll need it.

Police continue to arrest people for beating, stabbing and igniting a man in Leakin Park in December.
Check out the Investigative Voice: "Cops charge 3rd teen in grisly 'Bounty Hunter' murder"-- MJB

The youngest of those accused of killing former Councilman Kenneth Harris is pleading not guilty.
PS. I've heard from more than one inside source that the mystery woman in the car was the wife of a police officer, and that a lot of information on this case has been suppressed. Hope it goes to trial -- MJB

The Maryland Court of Appeals has defended the anonymity of online posters for those who wish to slander the blog if certain conditions are met. Fire away.

Talk about doing hard time: Fifteen former correctional officers at two different Correctional Institutions are being charged with giving stick time to inmates.

No Mas

I don't want to read the news any more. The Griffin story has upset me too much.

Why read the news, anyway? What's the point?

For a list of quality Baltimore blogs, sites & news sources, check the sidebar at right.

Parents Guilty, Gym Bag Goes Free

A 15-year-old boy was shot in the leg in the SW

A deadbeat dad who owed more than $94k in child support was arrested

"An arresting officer was not justified in opening an automobile passenger’s gym bag during a traffic stop without first squeezing it to determine if it contained a weapon, the Court of Appeals has held"

Black-market parking passes lead to a bust outside the ESPN Zone

In the county, John and Susan Griffin were found guilty of second-degree murder and child abuse. More from the Sun

Griffin trial = postponement for court admin's drug trial

The Ink has names and details for some of last week's five murder victims

Federal charges for Trenell David Murphy, target of the city's third or fourth-largest bust ever

New Site Alert!

Our friends from the Examiner are back!
Crackheads at the DPW! A median-strip beatdown! A purse-stealing campus cop! There's some crazy shiznit at InvestigativeVoice.com

LOLZ! WBAL reporter fired after apparently pranking the Huffington Post with a video that involves the phrase "Eric Holder and his bright blue scrotum."

"determination, hard work, and being true to your dream"

Documents unsealed from last week's XXXL drug bust-- the CP's got them, and all the requisite ironic details.

What the?! Hopkins employee steals identity of kidney-transplant patient, buys hardwood floors, fancy underpants

Two domestic assaults in the blotter

"Prince" gets 25 (federal) years for importing cocaine and heroin from the tropics

One Sean Sterling got 22 years for "two counts of using a gun in a drug trafficking crime resulting in death" in a case that RJR says "reveals a lot about why there are so many murders in Baltimore"

Ronald Kevin Bowen got 30 months for running his own little Madoff-y scheme

ACORN member to be charged with 4th-degree burglary after staging a protest break-in. Meanwhile, city council members want to extend the time between foreclosure to eviction from 14 days to 365

Elsewhere:
Baltimore man arrested for '06 Centreville rape and carjacking
PGC: Road-rage murder over a U-turn
MoCo: 52-year-old woman shot to death while leaving church
AAC: Home invasion ends in hail of BBS ... Worker busted for selling pot at the McDonald's drive-thru

35, 36

Unidentified man, 20s, stabbed to death at Eastern Avenue and South Conkling Street yesterday

and a man was fatally shot in the chest in Greenspring.

34

A 33-year-old man was the 34th murder this year, he was shot to death in the 2500 block of W. Baltimore St. early Saturday morning.

A man and a woman were shot in Woodlawn, police are looking for a silver Cadillac

"Officer challenges policy against naming police who kill
Charged in fatal shooting, he says rule fuels citizens' distrust"
More from hermann

A 16-year-old girl, Greshauna Rogers, is charged with murdering 20-year-old Petro Taylor.

"An inmate at the Metropolitan Transition Center in Baltimore and a former prison guard have been indicted on charges of extorting money from inmates' families."

What the?! From elsewhere:
An arrest is "imminent" in the case of Chandra Levy ... former crackhead/mayor of DC Marion Barry gets a new kidney ... some people hunt for sport/ others hunt for food/ the only thing he's hunting for is an outfit that looks gooood ....

Bolivian All-Stars

CP: It's like, so totally not the biggest drug bust ever.

Robert Simels, "Rolls Royce" of criminal-defense attorneys, is fighting to keep his fee arrangements secret.

Two County Two-Year-Olds

one story you can't get away from, and one you will probably never hear about again.

Nobody puts Baby in a chokehold!

More on the shooting death of sexagenarian Joseph Forrest. Sounds like Forrest put female officer Traci McKissick in a headlock, and then was shot by her partner (who shall remain nameless), a male sergeant and 15-year-veteran with incredible aim.

Police are looking for a man who fired at undercover officers and tried to run them down around Harford Road and Montebello Terrace.

Dayum. Police seize 91 pounds of cocaine (from whence & whom they're not saying)

Dundalk drunk hits police car on 695, puts trooper in the hospital

A city police officer was arrested and charged with shoplifting from Wal-Mart.

Two inmates stabbed each other at the Detention Center.

Lipscomb's lawyer: state prosecutors "blew us off"

Media Blabbler
The Tribune's bankruptcy hearing is scheduled for March 12 in Wilmington, DE.

Google gets into the journalism business

I love the Blotter, but there's a problem when shot humans get less ink than stolen tomatoes. Rather than the blotter being a "dying art," it's actually a skill fast replacing investigative journalism.

What the?! Iranian woman wants eye for an eye and is probably going to get it. & Not Baltimore, but should be: woman's life saved by bullet-stopping hair weave.

The douchebag is I.

Does anyone else ever get the suspicion that the mayor wants to drive every taxpaying resident out of the city? It was bad enough to have my car broken into over and over again (even while rental-clean, the doors visibly unlocked and the factory radio already stolen). It was worse to hear that the only way to catch someone is for them to be caught in the act, and even then, the perp will serve no time. But then to be blamed for it ... after years of shrugging off the city's sociopaths, pervs, taxes, potholes ("that's Baltimore! Whatta a crazy town!") this is the first time I've felt like a prize a-hole for living here. Like a total chump. Because someone is going to break into my house, steal my stuff, and the cop is going to say, "if someone looks in your window, could they see your TV? Da, well, it's not that we want somebody to steal everything in your house, but if you leave anything downstairs when you go to bed, you're asking someone to come and steal everything that's not bolted down on the first floor. Common sense. Hey, is your dog OK?"
  "Oh my God! Tippy!"
  "Did you leave a water dish outside for your dog? Did you bring it back in, but it left a ring? Uh huh. There you go. It's not that we want somebody to sodomize your dog, but if you leave a dish outside like that, you could go to any area in the state, go to Towson, go to Frederick, it doesn't matter where, zoophiles are prowling around. We just need people to be responsible. Common sense."

A bearded brown man robbed the Pikesville Susquehanna Bank.

The Sporting Life

A man was shot inside the Sportsmen's Lounge in the 4700 block of Gwynn Oak Ave, he survived.

Allegations: man charged with firing a gun into the air beaten by a flashlight, forced to sit in barf

Murder Ink has last week's five homicides. #27 was ID'd as Faruq Barakaat.

fatal hit-and-run at 36th and Falls this morning

Search warrants executed by the US Defense Dept.'s inspectors at Berg Recycling. Whatever were they looking for?

DP: "Swing Vote" Senator Alex Mooney not changing his mind

TVs, license plates, frozen foods, cars, construction equiptment and cash stolen and gun- and knife-point in the Messenger crime log

Murder-suicide in Randallstown

33 Years for Fratricide

The State's Attorney's office reports that Eric Jerome Little, 29, was sentenced to 33 years for stabbing his 16-year-old brother to death with a knife. Details:

On July 12, 2008 at approximately 3:30AM police responded to the 3700 block of Liberty Heights Ave. for a stabbing. Upon arrival, police discovered Calvin Ray, 16, suffering from a single stab wound to the heart. Medics transported Ray to Sinai Hospital where he was pronounced dead. During the course of the investigation, police learn that Little and his brother, Calvin Ray, got into an argument inside the house over personal living space and that argument escalated and led to a fight outside and that Little retrieved a knife from the house and stabbed Ray.

The sister of both the defendant and the victim delivered an emotional victim impact statement to the court, telling Judge Rasin that their mother lost two sons that day. The defendant issued a tearful apology to his family before being led from the courtroom.

Two arrested for Monday night's murder of James Flanary/ Flannery

Reports WBAL's Kate Amara, "Currently, the murder rate is on the rise again, but the overall crime rate is down, statistics showed." (Really? What statistics?)
UPDATE, a reader writes,

"to answer your question about the statistics Kate Amara cited: Homicides up 44%, but shootings down 48%, robbery down 19%, aggravated assaults down 19%, larceny down 18%, auto theft down 30%, total vio,ent crime down 18 percent, property crime down 15 percent, and total crime overall down 17 percent. Only thing besides homicide that is up are burglaries, up 5%. According to police stats as of 2/7."

Maybe it's time for another trip to Six Flags!

Hermann has more on Dixon's "day on crime"

The federal agents who arrested 24 Latinos during a 2007 raid at a Southeast Baltimore 7-Eleven felt pressure from supervisors to round up possible illegal immigrants to 'produce statistics.'"

Dixon granted an exclusive interview to JZ hottie Adam May.

A female officer who shall remain nameless shot a man to death after he allegedly attacked her.

Teens going apestuff on a bus led to a juvenile stabbed onboard at 38th and Ellerslie.

Shiteously depressing trial continues in Towson for the couple accused of starving their toddler son to death. The Sun's Nick Madigan reports that the "dad" "acted belligerently," called police officers "a bunch of gorillas"

Also in the county, a man was arrested after he "allegedly stabbed a woman with a steak knife and injured two other people following an argument."

David Anthony Johnson faces 30 years in federal prison and a fine of $1 million after pleading guilty to stealing his dead neighbor's identity

What the?! North Daktoa legislators decree that a fertilized egg = a person

New Blog Alerts

Fraud With Peril: former federal prosecutors blogging about white-collar crime in MD, DC & VA ... saucy headline writers who probably know more secrets than Mata Hari!

Mobtown Media Beat, a photojournalist delivers the lowdown

No Sugar No Sweet, a TU student on the realities of Baltimore living

... new to me anyway, "The Baltimore Brew". Joan Jacobson brilliance deboned by a first-person mom feature and infrequent updating, but potential abounds.

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James Flannery, 23, was stabbed to death in the 3900 block of S. Hanover St., and a young man was shot to death in the 5600 block of Sagra Road.

"Narrow majority of Md. senators oppose repeal of death penalty, survey reveals"
... reader support for the big D appears to have eroded over time, most recently only 40% of BCrime's readers agreed it should hang around. In 2006, readers seemed to be more conflicted (or maybe our readership has shifted). Poll results from October and December of '06.

A 54-year-old school therapist was arrested for the sexual abuse of a 13-year-old boy after a police officer saw the pair in a parked car together.

Van Smith on the darkening days of the Baltimore enterprising news story.

Meister visits the Criminal Justice Coordinating Council, muses, "It would literally take about ten determined intelligent people to bring down the current regime that controls Baltimore City."
... the Examiner is gone, with the Baltimore site redirecting to DC, but the Examiners remain. Examiner.com is apparently a separate business entity, with quite a different business model.

Web finds: the Newseum has today's front pages from around the U.S. and the world. Fascinating to see what makes it above the fold from town to town!
(thanks, Mom!)

need a job? The Feds are hiring.

The man stabbed to death in the Westfield neighborhood was ID'd as 62-year-old Daniel Lee Hoeck, a former Marine and engineer who had no criminal history and seems to have been beloved by his neighbors.

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Michael Davis, 30, was shot to death near the intersection of Erdman Avenue and East Federal Street.

Three additional nonfatal shootings on Saturday in the blotter: the 2400 block of Belair Road, the 400 block of E. 32nd St., in the stairway of a parking garage in the 1000 block of N. Charles St.

JHU junior drops retainer, gets expelled for .45 in waistband.
(thanks TM)
A different student-with-a-gun story at Steon Hill in PA this weekend; a trooper shot and killed a student after a three-hour standoff (thanks Buz)

RIP Examiner! We'll miss you!
Before Greg Kane was cut loose, free to roam Baltimore's streets, he filed one final scrappy column of unfinished business.

Seriously?! Hermann says that notes left to Baby Blevins on his death Dumpster were a high school art project, and Uncle Ben's billboards are next.

Elsewhere
In Towson, Daniel Ho Coverston, a TU student who was recovering from eye surgery was shot to death in his apartment.

"Anne Arundel County police said they've charged a Brooklyn Park man with attacking another man with a machete."

Int'l: Argentina, Ecuador, Colombia and Mexico have all recently moved to decriminalize small-scale drug possession for personal use

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A man in his 60's known as "Mr. Dan" was found stabbed to death in the 6100 block of Glenoak Avenue.

A man was shot in the head at Erdman Avenue and East Federal Street after midnight this morning, the Deuce says he's still alive

More details on the circumstances of Eric Pendergrass' death; he "is believed to be connected to a violent drug gang whose feuding with rivals may have been responsible for at least five homicides last summer"

An officer allegedly involved in a bar fight has been suspended

And those are the good schools! Nine students from City and Mervo were arrested last week for fighting

What the?! In PA, "Judges Plead Guilty in Scheme to Jail Youths for Profit"

Media Blabber: "Pay For News Online? Really? Yes, Says U.S. News."

Douchebags Aplenty

... but no actual violence today. (Is that because there hasn't been any, or is this the news void?)

"State senators weigh domestic violence vs. right to guns...
"One bill would give judges the discretion to confiscate guns from the subjects of temporary protective orders ... The other bill would require judges to take guns after a final protective order is granted."

Orchard Mews resident to city officials: "Clean it up. You know what the problems are. You know who the people are who are causing the problems. Clean it up!"

A lot of kvetching but not much substance at the City Council meeting.
A.F. James MacArthur has video and some D2 & Fiona Apple at the Baltimore Spectator blog.

Lava Lounge of Canton was fined & had their liquor permit suspended after third underage-booze violation

D'oh! Drunk driver rear-ends police car in Rogers Forge

Teens furious at proposed new driving & curfew laws: "from what I've seen, teenagers are far more mature than some adults when it comes to driving" (see above)

"Baltimore Sun To Close Bureaus, Cut Staff"

DLA Piper laying off 5 lawyers, 12 other staff members in Baltimore

Lots of drama at the civil litigation firm Lord & Whip!

This just in: the terms "doucebag" and "skank" are not defamatory.
Other fun links at the TDR law blog round-up

Backstories

CP: Eric Pendergrass, found asphixiated in the Patapsco, was possibly abducted whilst delivering a mysterious plastic bag.

Robert M. Simels, pissing off prosecutors since Giuliani, is currently cold chilling in his Westchester crib waiting for his violent-Guyanese-cocaine-conspiracy trial.

Shank you very much

Two days, two teens stabbed at school! Today's victim was at Baltimore Talent Development High (considered a model for other troubled schools)

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CHuM's 3rd murder victim of the year was ID'd as Tracy Kinchen, 34.

The suspicious body found floating in the Patapsco was ID'd as Eric Pendergrass, 26; the ME's office said he died of asphyxiation.

Fox reports that a 16-year-old boy was stabbed at Carver Vo-Tech

Ex-gf of former Oriole Roberto Alomar is suing him for having sex with her even though he had full-blown AIDS(!!)

An AP reporter & photogThe Washington Post's Aaron C. Davis and photographer Marvin Joseph got inside Fowler's freezer.
(The ME is certainly a lot more outgoing than usual lately-- are the FOIA requests and persistent questions about the "undetermineds" getting to him?)

The Goucher French teacher accused of participating in Rwandan genocide has been arrested for a visa offense
(same story at "Exhibit A" if you're not registered on Washpost)

Prosecutor: genius Baltimorean brought $1 million worth of heroin (some of it "inside of MOSES' body") on a plane from Panama to ATL.

LOLz du jour: Like baggy pants on a pit bull, Sen. George W. Della Jr.'s "Effort to ban beer pong quickly abandoned"

10 Years for Marine's Killer

From the SAO:
"Today, Judge Paul Smith sentenced Maurice Crosby, 20, of the 5200 block of Ready Avenue to 10 years in prison for the involuntary manslaughter of Marine Reservist Michael Simms. The State asked for 20 years.

A Baltimore City Jury convicted Crosby November 1, 2008 for involuntary manslaughter second degree assault and possession of a deadly weapon with intent to injure following several days of testimony and eight-hours of deliberations based on the following facts of the case. On June 10, 2007 Maurice Crosby and several other persons became involved in an argument which escalated to a melee in the unit block of S. Chapel Street. During the melee Crosby produced a knife and fatally stabbed Michael Simms, 19. Two other persons were injured with the knife but survived the assault.

A co-defendant, Erica Ammenhauser, 21, of the 200 block of Durham Street pled guilty to conspiracy to commit first-degree assault June 10, 2008. Under terms of the plea agreement, announced in open court, she was required to testify truthfully, if called, in the murder trial of Maurice Crosby. The State did not call Ammenhauser as a witness in the prosecution of Maurice Crosby."

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The Deuce reports a double shooting with one fatality in the 1700 block of E. 32nd Street.

27

An unidentified man in the 1700 block of N. Smallwood St.

The Ink details last week's three murders, all on Feb. 4.
"Three people were murdered on Feb. 4, making it the second-most murderous day so far this year, right behind Jan. 4, on which four people were murdered."

Dixon wants a new law to require bail commissioners to hold convicted gun offenders on a no-bail status if they have a new arrest

A McDonogh student flashing a pellet gun in a case of road rage; 43 pounds of wacky terbacky in a van in the Blotter

Some good news: "Drug overdose deaths in Baltimore City continued to drop last year, reaching the lowest number since 1995." Death by booze &/or nose-candy is down too!

Coke-snortin gun-toting gut-rattling Pikesvillager "could be released within the next few weeks."
"What I did was not the real me," he said

Ugh, I'm so sick of "lack of outrage" outrage.

So the NASA child-porn scientist pleads guilty, gets 5 years probation, and keeps his job (for now).

HoCo Judge to Hear Corruption Cases

Dixon, Holton and Lipscomb will have their corruption cases heard by the same judge, retired Circuit Judge Dennis M. Sweeney.

Less overtime= more murders?

"Baltimore City Council President Stephanie C. Rawlings-Blake introduced resolutions yesterday asking the city's police commissioner to brief the council on the effect of reduced police overtime on Baltimore's homicide rate, a plan to redraw police district lines and the effectiveness of the city's blue-light crime cameras."

Meanwhile, "Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon will testify in Annapolis today in favor of a bill that would reduce 'good time' credits for inmates serving sentences for gun convictions"

Update: yesterday's corpse was found near the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Bridge* in South Baltimore. The death is considered "suspicious"
* Apparently, the post-1993 name for the Hanover Street Bridge.

Kennard Pratt, 27, was arrested and charged for the triple shooting on Bond St. last month that killed Antoine Betts.
(Bless their hearts, those Examiner reporters are still on the grind!)

Officer Margaret Duffy, who admitted leaving the scene of an accident in her Canton neighborhood, got one year of unsupervised probation and was ordered to pay $250 in court costs

The Examiner ferrets out Madoff victims in MD.

JZiz! "A young boy was beaten by a school bully so badly that his teeth were knocked out."

Police want to shut down the Executive Inn.

A Court of Appeals decision filed Monday found that a building partnership related to prominent Baltimore attorney Peter G. Angelos has the standing to challenge the city re. the Westside "superblock."

"A trial judge does not weigh evidence before giving a jury instruction on entrapment, but rather decides enough evidence exists for the jury to make a determination, the Court of Special Appeals has held."

"An aggressive federal effort to keep track of sexual offenders is at risk of collapse because of objections from states and legal challenges from sex offenders and others."

100 years on the road to victory!

"This week marks the centennial of a fateful landmark in U.S. history, the nation's first drug prohibition law."
(thanks EP)

Miss Dixon's state of the city speech? Lucky for you, Meister was taking notes while you were smoking behind the gym.
also on the scene, A.F. James MacArthur, who asked about police overtime.
and here's TDR's take
And Annie Linskey's.
Who covered it best?

Real Body, Imaginary Bridge

The body of an adult black male was found under "the Patapsco River Bridge"
(no such bridge... maybe the Hanover Street Bridge?)

A man shot in the neck by four teenagers on a dirt bike, a pizza deliveryman robbed in Hampden in the blotter

Deeply depressing: Peter Hermann chronicles the suicide of former officer Edward William Eldridge Jr.

A man shot while riding his bike south of Greenmount cemetery

In the county, "Same-sex ex loses visitation battle"
Fun fact: between 6 and 14 million children live with at least one gay parent

Weekend

WBAL: murder victim Lemuel Wallace was disabled and living in a group home, was probably killed by someone he knew

Former Air Force senior airman Rico Rodrigus Williams was indicted for second-degree murder and three counts of tampering with a witness in the 2005 beating death of Army sergeant Juwan Johnson in Germany

"Baltimore's crime lab suffers from inadequate funding, spotty recordkeeping and broken equipment, according to an independent audit"

QTD: "All these hundreds of DNA exonerations across the country have demonstrated to anyone who’s paying attention that there are far more innocent people in prison than anybody could imagine"

Dixon's "considering the first major shuffling of police resources throughout the city in decades."

"veteran prosecutors Donald Giblin and Doug Ludwig are being promoted to lead the homicide and police misconduct divisions, respectively."

Facebook & MySpace blocked at the statehouse! "'This is like China,' said Sen. James C. Rosapepe"

Maryland’s largest-ever pharmaceutical-trafficking case was built by Federal intelligence specialists working in a former department store in Johnsontown, PA
(FYI: hydrocodone= Vicodin)

Irony corner: "A state delegate who once proposed special 'DUI' license plates for drunken drivers has been convicted of a drunken driving charge."

MoCo police are asking for the public's help to identify a homicide victim

We'd press two, but bloody puke is on the handset

"Thank you for calling the Kellogg Company. If you would like to share your comments regarding our relationship with Michael Phelps, please press one to speak to a representative. If you're calling about the recent peanut butter recall, please press two now. Otherwise, press three or stay on the line. Thank you."

.. NORML is calling for a boycott.
But Subway, "perhaps realizing its product could serve an entirely new niche of sub eaters — namely, ravenous pot smokers — announced it still supports Phelps"

"Integrity Issues"

Hermann: Detectives Allen Adkins and Deryl Turner, who were serving warrants in Justin Fenton's story yesterday, are on the State's Attorney's "do not call" list due to "integrity issues"

Seriously? "Maryland judges have the authority to order new trials after convictions, an awesome power because their decisions can’t be appealed. So if a judge steps outside the law and orders a new trial for improper reasons, nothing can be done about it."

"hipsters will shed some tears tonight"

"Quite a few hipsters will shed some tears tonight." Lithuanian Hall fined $8k, tonight's show canceled, says Meister

Media blabber: News Corp lost $6.4 BILLION in Q2. Ad revenue at the WSJ is down 20%.

Federal Cracktacular

Four-time offender Deshon Thomas got 11 years for the ready-rock (distributed by an 8-year-old!)

Two guilty pleas from "Tree Top" Bloods

Two MoCo residents were arrested & charged with trafficking underage prostitutes

Homicide Victims Named

Wednesday's three murder victims have been ID'd: Demetrius M. Saulsbury, 22, was killed in Broadway East; Lemuel Wallace, 37, was killed on the Gwynns Falls Trail restroom; David Bryan Wright, 47, was murdered in CHuM.

An officer was hit by an a-hole who fled the scene in a green vehicle.

Federal judge: Pro-life group can sue UMBC for $

Senate bills du jour: one that would raise the statute of limitations for child-abuse litigation from 25 to 50, one that would require health insurers to spend more on actual health care

Essex man gets 63 years in jail for setting house on fire while ex-gf's daughter was inside

Baltimore flipper is MLB snitcher! (Is that a gold chain he's wearing? Of course it is)

"Authorities Not Laughing At Hacked Signs," but I am

25 Years for Murderer of Shanika Pretlow

The SA's office reports that at hearing yesterday Judge John C. Themelis sentenced Brandon Chambers, 25, of the 1300 block of W. North Avenue to life in prison suspend all but 25 years and five years probation. Chambers pled guilty December 8, 2008 to the first-degree murder of Shanika Pretlow, 26. Chambers admitted to shooting Pretlow multiple times on October 18, 2005 after they engaged in unprotected sex and he falsely accused her of having AIDS.

Chambers pleaded guilty to the following statement of facts:

On October 18, 2005 police arrived on the scene in the 1800 block of McKean Avenue where they found Shanika Pretlow suffering from gunshot wounds, including a wound to the head. Medics rushed Ms. Pretlow to Maryland General Hospital where she was pronounced dead. An autopsy by the State’s Medical Examiner revealed that Ms. Pretlow had been shot four times and that all of the entry wounds went from the back to the front and she was negative for the AIDS virus. A .32 caliber bullet was recovered from her body. Her death was ruled a homicide.

On October 22, 2005 detectives received information from sources with information about a shooting advising them that Brandon Chambers was seen in a nightclub bragging about shooting Ms. Pretlow after having sex with her. On November 7, 2005 another witness advised police that he had seen Brandon Chambers leave a local bar with Ms. Pretlow on the day of her death and that he was now bragging that he “had to kill her.” Chambers killed Pretlow believing she was HIV-positive and that he had unprotected sex with her. In 2007 DNA testing of evidence recovered from Ms. Pretlow’s body revealed Brandon Chambers genetic profile as the major and only contributor.

Assistant State’s Attorney Lisa Phelps prosecuted this case.

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It appears there were actually three unrelated murders yesterday. The third was a man shot & killed in the 1600 block of Gorsuch Ave. in CHuM.

"Science Found Wanting in Nation’s Crime Labs"

"Police hope warrant sweep will curb city violence" (beautiful photo!)

City officials want to speed up the process of civil "nuisance abatement" lawsuits

An arrest for the carjacking and shooting last week of 19-year-old Michael Lewis

A man robbed in the Rotunda parking lot in the Blotter

Study: Meth cost 'society' $23.4 billion in '05

"Watch it, that tickles! Wow, I haven't felt suction like that since the Bush twins were in town! Uh oh, sporty, is that a cell phone camera over there?" Greg Kane imagines what Michael Phelps' bong might say. ... & wouldn't it be refreshing if a busted celebs "took responsibility" by donating to a legal defense fund for pot dealers?

Our favorite Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, has been hospitalized with pancreatic cancer.