Thursday, February 3rd: Help the baby monkey!

"I feel bad for the monkey most of all because the monkey is who is gonna suffer," says Judie Harrison of the baby Capuchin monkeys stolen this week from a Glen Burnie home. Yes, stolen monkeys. They eat three times a day and if they're not fed, become quite unpredictable. A $1000 reward is offered for the return of the monkeys. Please, if you have information, call (410) 222-8610.

Marcus Byrd was arrested for the murder of Terry Street. Byrd is 20 years old. Street was 23 at the time of his death.

Welcome to Baltimore, now get over it! The story, from the godforsaken Washington Times, reads: "The killing of a Hopkins senior Jan. 23 has underscored the sense of vulnerability students feel in a city where there has been virtually a murder a day since the beginning of the new year." OK, please. One Hopkins student suddenly made the Rev. Moon aware of the murders happening all over town? Yeah, okay, you're gonna get killed while waiting for your triple latte chai at Xando. Ugh. Hopkins students. Go to East Baltimore sometime, willya? Then you can complain.

Elsewhere:

Police in Frederick say that a skull found in the middle of the street was probably stolen from a nearby cemetery.

In White Marsh, a woman was sexually assaulted at gunpoint. So much for being safe in the county.