Paramedic assaults patient, a gas cocktail, a flipping scheme

Have you seen missing 9-year-old Jasaiah Roberts? He was last seen Saturday in the 3100 block of East Monument St. 

A 24-year-old man was shot in the chest on a basketball court in the 1400 block of N Caroline St. in the Oliver* neighborhood, reports the Sun's Mary Gail Hare

?! A woman in the 4600 block of York Road tried to sicken her niece by serving her water with gasoline in it.

?! A paramedic named Shaun White was arrested for assaulting a patient*. Fenton reports that the victim was a drunk 36-year-old woman and the assault was caught on tape* and involved a slap across the face. Oh my. And irony alert!! Olympic gold medalist Shaun White was also arrested this weekend-- he was drunk and assaulted a telephone and then himself by slapping his drunk face on the floor while trying to hit someone else. What does it all mean?!

Poor Anthony Batts! His contract with the city has him taking a $60,000 cut below what he was making in Oakland* to command a force six times smaller than ours.

One Kenneth Koehler pleaded guilty to mortgage fraud in a scheme whereby he lied like a rug to get fraudulent loans for six properties in Upper Fells Point, kept Fannie and Freddie's cash and then let the properties fall into foreclosure. Four of the houses are in the same block of S. Chapel St., one is 2217 Gough and another in the 200 block of S. Castle. The City Paper covered this story back in 2008, Koehler told Ed Ericsson he's owned 27 properties in and around Fells Point.

Glen Burnie dad Mitchell Gresham is being charged as an accessory to murder after helping his son, Cornelius Johnson, cover up the killing of his half-brother, Andrew Michael Johnson.  (Explains the Gazette, the brothers had the same mom but two different dads.)

More deets on Matthew Long, the grandson suspected in the deaths of the Peppers: he was en route to California and found in a Travel Inn in Weatherford, OK; the motel owner called the cops after not getting a response from Long's room. Creepy detail: the motel is two blocks from Dead Woman's Crossing, so named after a notorious murder in 1905 that, legend has it, led to a suspected accomplice poisoning herself. What does it all mean?!

From the "shocking to no one" files, Luke Broadwater reports that "More than half of the 1,900 city officials and employees required to complete ethics and financial disclosure forms fill out the forms incorrectly or not at all.*" In other unshocking news, all signs point to our gov eyeballing a 2016 presidential run. .. poor O'Malley, after all these years he's still trying to live down "Carcetti." Meowed the guv to Governing magazine, "David [Simon] came to Baltimore and saw nothing but suffering and hopelessness, and made a lot of money on it."

In the Patch metro blotter, a skeevy 20-something in Essex set fire to a garage,  a drive-by shooting in Pikesville, an armed robbery on a Sunday afternoon in Owings Mills.