Grownups Gone AWOL

Smoke

Durrell "Smoke" Gaskins, 25, was stabbed to death reportedly as he tried to break up a fight* amongst Forest Park HS students.

Gwendolyn Johnson, 24, was shot to death in the housing projects of old Latrobe.*

Nelson B. Clifford

Nelson B Clifford, sex offender extrordinaire, once again is claiming that the sex he had* with a stranger after he broke into her apartment was consensual.

Andre "Redrum" Roach, of the Bloods Roaches, has pleaded guilty to racketeering, of the federal kind of racketeering,* and so shall now make his home in Cumberland or thereabouts for thirty years henceforth.

Letting a bunch of private-school teenage twats trash a beach house* is surely mind-bogglingly boneheaded for anyone over the age of 22. Buuuut it must be said, if the O'Malley administration put half as much effort into transparency for citizens and reporters as they are putting in to ferret out the deets on Doug Gansler, perhaps our fair state would not be such a D-minus, and perhaps state officials such as Doug Gansler would think twice before making extremely poor life decisions. I so hope news sources will start covering Heather Mizeur's campaign in any kind of way, because with a year to go I am already sick as a tray of Jell-o shots of hearing about these dudebros riding their douche canoes down Mt. Shitsandwich. 

And here, have a bonus numbnuts: Matthew Mitchell, 30, a drunk dad who drove with his 4-month-old on his lap and wrecked his car, putting the baby in the hospital. I hate you all and Im going to take a nap now.