'Brassiere, Queer, and Volunteer'

Overnight Shooting: Hospital walk in, an adult male with two gun shot wounds. District Detectives are investigating. Dispatch Time: 2:02 am
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) June 24, 2014

Shooting:1600 Blk. Homestead Street.Adult male shot in chest and side.District Detectives are investigating.Dipatch Time:5:42pm
— Baltimore Police (@BaltimorePolice) June 23, 2014

Happy election day! Seems as good a time as any to revisit Jon Cardin's Coast Guard proposal,* the $90 million Anthony Brown lost* trying to implement our health-care exchange and Doug Gansler's teen booze party* caught on video. Me, I'm voting for the lesbian with the fangs.

The pregnant woman beaten to death in Rosedale was identified as Summer Smith. The Sun's original Facebook teaser stated that Smith's own mother was a suspect, but references to that appear to have now been scrubbed.

Friends are perplexed as to how Daniel Waldhaus of Shelton, Connecticut, wound up murdered in a car in Baltimore.*

New faces at the Liquor Board-- O'Malley bucked the patronage system to appoint 87-year-old Judge Tom Ward, perhaps best known previously for restraining a criminal in Bolton Hill,* and lawyer Dana Moore, whose law firm represents "Texas-based Scott Wizig, the target of an $8 million suit by six community groups who allege that he (or entities he controls) owns 57 vacant, dilapidated properties."

Tyrone West

Tyrone West's family has filed a lawsuit, and revealed that the same officers who killed him had beaten motorist Abdul Salaam* three weeks prior, for failing to buckle his child's seat belt. Salaam has joined the suit.

Timothy Virts pleaded "not criminally responsible" to murder and kidnapping charges, his lawyer says he's criminally insane. He and his daughter Caitlyn were found at the Colonial Inn in Florence, South Carolina.

A pizza delivery driver was stabbed in Essex.

Sun Develops Gonads, Ovulates

Holy shit you guys, did you see the slams of Anthony Brown in the Sun today? Usually the Sun's opinions are hedged, bridled and given a shot of go-go juice before they go onstage, but their critiques of Brown have been heating up,* then yesterday someone replaced some editor's Preparation-H with Tiger Balm and today they're as are sore as a Tennessee horse. David Zurawik's takedown of Brown* is the hardest-hitting pan I've seen in a legitimate media source since Pete Wells went to Guy's American Kitchen and Bar, and the paper printed his answer to the health-care exchange question verbatim.*
     I've been a reporter, believe it or not, and the only reason you ever transcribe and print someone verbatim without prettying it up (and the only reason your editor would ever let you do that) is because you and your paper are thoroughly done with said someone. Because basically almost everyone sounds like a mutard verbatim, and no one will ever talk to you again if you print them full mutard. If you don't believe me, record yourself opining on any topic and transcribe it, you'll sound like Mr. Ed with a fishhook in your lip.

Get back to twerk!

   For what it's worth the Sun hasn't been softballing Gansler either, calling out his "sleek, well-fed look of upper-middle-class suburban privilege," a barb well-earned since he sent his kid to George Huguely IV*'s alma mater, a $34,1601-a-year school for aspiring date-rapists in a district so safe their schools don't even have recurring trash can fires or race riots. And they didn't gloss over the fact that Gansler dug himself deeper trying to explain that Bethany beach-house underaged ass-grinding teen-drinking party as being more acceptable because his progeny was a penis- toting American,* or that as Attorney General he doesn't need to take responsibility for other people's children (which would explain his continual employment of Carl Snowden, yet not why he keeps trotting out that poor 11-year-old sexually-molested girl every time he opens his beerhole. Isn't using some stock-photo model in public ads as "sexually molested girl" kind of molest-y in itself? Imagine her parents' surprise. "Oh look, a residual check! I wonder what Video Blocks used that adorable footage of Ashleigh playing that with that dinosaur for? OH MY GOD!!")
   Wait, what was my point?
   Could it be that Sun reporters and editors are just like us, tired of these entitled legacy candidates thinking they can roll in and that one beer and a beach house is enough for us to let them grind on our butts? Could the Sun really endorse Mizeur? Could she really win?
    Conventional wisdom (aka my Dad) says she has no chance. The Sun will never endorse her because the Tribune Corp would never allow it happen, she's not the establishment's person. Our rural jurors will never vote for her because she's a pro-pot lesbian. Dudebros and self-loathing ladies will hesitate to vote for any female candidate because deep down they've already concluded she's either too weak or too pushy. This is the Sun's last whinny before backing establishment candidate A or B.
  What do you think?

Grownups Gone AWOL

Smoke

Durrell "Smoke" Gaskins, 25, was stabbed to death reportedly as he tried to break up a fight* amongst Forest Park HS students.

Gwendolyn Johnson, 24, was shot to death in the housing projects of old Latrobe.*

Nelson B. Clifford

Nelson B Clifford, sex offender extrordinaire, once again is claiming that the sex he had* with a stranger after he broke into her apartment was consensual.

Andre "Redrum" Roach, of the Bloods Roaches, has pleaded guilty to racketeering, of the federal kind of racketeering,* and so shall now make his home in Cumberland or thereabouts for thirty years henceforth.

Letting a bunch of private-school teenage twats trash a beach house* is surely mind-bogglingly boneheaded for anyone over the age of 22. Buuuut it must be said, if the O'Malley administration put half as much effort into transparency for citizens and reporters as they are putting in to ferret out the deets on Doug Gansler, perhaps our fair state would not be such a D-minus, and perhaps state officials such as Doug Gansler would think twice before making extremely poor life decisions. I so hope news sources will start covering Heather Mizeur's campaign in any kind of way, because with a year to go I am already sick as a tray of Jell-o shots of hearing about these dudebros riding their douche canoes down Mt. Shitsandwich. 

And here, have a bonus numbnuts: Matthew Mitchell, 30, a drunk dad who drove with his 4-month-old on his lap and wrecked his car, putting the baby in the hospital. I hate you all and Im going to take a nap now.

Androids for inmates

Following CBS Evening News' story on Carol Ott and her Slumlord Watch last week, the Sun's Ian Duncan wrote about* Nether Baltimore's Wall Hunter project to paint murals on said slum properties. Today in the CP Ed Ericson Jr. stone-cold busts Ian Duncan, Justin George and Carrie Wells not doing their homework checking Rochkind's lawyer Danny Stenger's claim that Rochkind didn't control the property at 4727 Old York Road (... but if he did, added the lawyer, the Exodus-themed mural would be a "hate crime.") Looking forward to that correction. And y'know, really, the mural project is gifting these slum bums with valuable works of art. If Rochkind had any sense of money (or sweet irony) he'd remove the mural and donate it to a museum for a write-off ... or sell it to Bank of America or Wells Fargo to install in the lobby of their corporate HQ, hyuk.

Justin George tweeted that Jennifer Owens,* "corrections officer accused of smuggling drugs into Baltimore jail & having relations with BGF gang leader, pleads guilty ... To one count of racketeering conspiracy. Sentencing is in January." Notable "J.O." quote from the CP: “I understand you stressed out, cuz you locked up, ok, but I am too. You locked up, and I’m fucking pregnant again. Like really, who the fuck does that? Only my dumb ass do shit like that, for real. I can accept that I fucked up. I know I did, but I did that shit cuz I wanted to. I don’t regret it.”  That makes two BGF perps who have taken pleas so far, 23 to go.

A woman was shot to death in Parkville while putting her 3-year-old in the car.

#Baltimore County PD hauling away murder Vic car where they say she was killed loading her son in back seat pic.twitter.com/zNYzMlPv7S
— Brian Kuebler (@BrianfromABC2) August 13, 2013

Brekford's speed cameras are up, so why hasn't the city turned them on yet?* Waiting for Harbor Point rage to dissipate first?

Doug "Androids for inmates*" Gansler gets even less appealing, now claiming Anthony Brown is running on his African-Americanness. FWIW Brown's parents are Swiss and Jamaican.

MoCo PoPo ISO victims of pervy old music teacher, Silver Spring Elementary School teacher Lawrence Wesley Joynes, he's been charged with sexually abusing 14 girls so far.

Karla Porter's jury still deliberating guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty, of first-degree murder and = five other related counts.

Matthew VanDyke's Syria short copped some pixels on the Business Insider site

Oh shit they got Muffy

Street crime comes to Roland Park*! A jogger on Wyndhurst threatened with her own pepper spray, a 54-year-old threatened with a Taser® on Roland Avenue and a 40-something jogger in Wyman Park thrown to the ground by robbers in a dark-colored sedan and a stolen SUV.

Crazed and murderous ex-cop James Smith's cause of death in jail* = hanging.

Butterfaced homophobe Don Dwyer pleaded guilty (again) to boozy boating in hopes of avoiding jail time; as you may recall, despondent over the failure of his marriage and the House of Delegates' inability to ban gay marriage, he and his male friend got shitfaced while boating on the bay with three children, wrecked said boat and put the three children in the hospital. The specialer-than-you legislator was also cited for illegal crabbing last month. He plans to seek a fourth term.
Wonder how the 5-year-old with the fractured skull is doing?

aaaand Doug Gansler's gubernatorial campaign just screwed the pooch bareback* on a bed of rose petals with a side of fries.  So long, nice to know you. Well, not really. Didn't really know you. But it was nice to have an alternative to Anthony Brown for five minutes. So, well, anyway, bye.

Green Jobs Indeed

Renita Franklin-Thrower, from the CP

The Feds have arrested an embezzler in the mayor's very office, one Renita Franklin-Thrower. 

"The Baltimore Mayor’s Office of Employment Development (MOED) in 2011 hired a convicted embezzler, only 14 months out of federal prison and still on supervised release, for a $41,000-per-year position to run a green-jobs training program funded by a state grant." 

... so over this mayor's sloppy stewardship! If it's not giving developers $393 million for no damn reason, it's felons and grifters in her own office. 2016 cannot come soon enough! Who will be running against her?

And how about Gansler v. Brown for governor next year? Who are you liking? 

In other bureaucracy news, new site Baltimorecode.org codifies our city laws and ordinances in an attractive and helpful way.

Judge Althea Handy: State Center Contracts can Suck it

Saw the TDR headline and almost ran into a light pole: Judge Handy has effectively* squashed the State Center project, after more than seven years of legal wrangling. You may recall, State Center was a $1.5 billion proposed government-office complex for downtown, conceived by Ehrlich in 2005 and all set to roll out on taxpayers' dime. But then, one of the two developers, Doracon, had to drop off the project after it was revealed that their CEO, Ronald Lipscomb* literally whored himself out to the mayor. The other developer, Streuver, went tits-up (financially), and all along the project was pelted with lawsuits from two dozen neighbors and landlords* claiming violations of all sorts of procurement laws. Rather outrageously, the state-- personified by Attorney GD Gansler's office-- SLAPPed back with lawsuits against the plaintiffs, and refused to release any documents to the media in response to FOIA requests, claiming that the Attorney General's office couldn't afford to make copies. The Attorney General's office, by the way, was due to get the largest chunk of space-- 111,000 square feet -- in the new complex.

So, seven years of taxpayer dollars were wasted on lawsuits, but that still beats getting hosed for $1.5 billion. And now there's four candidates set to run against Gansler next year, so hopefully after this shameful exercise he'll retire and go smoke a fatty with ol' token Snowden* and his sex offender friend*-- all's well that ends well. The end!

166

Fenton Twitterations:  "Three women shot in past 24 hours RT @BaltimorePolice Shooting reported in Southwest District. 300 blk S Augusta. Adult female reported shot" ... "[Charles Richardson] 28-yr-old Columbia man serving life for killing 7-11 clerk there, found dead from head trauma in his cell at North Branch ... Cell mate was found outside cell holding bloody clothes" ... "‎25 murders this month; 45 this Aug/Sept compared w 32 last Aug/Sept. Hate to say it but zero chance city's annual downward trend continues"

... the woman shot on the 300 block of Augusta has died.* She was 19, sitting in a car. Police don't know if she was targeted or if it was a random act.

A 35-year-old female sedan service driver was shot in the arm and torso at Reedbird and Potee* Sts, she is alive. Before she died she told police she was shot by an unknown passenger.*

Charles David "Face" Richardson IV, the slain inmate, was serving a life sentence for two first-degree murder convictions, the Sun's Kevin Rector says he was "one of the most violent criminals in recent Howard County memory*"

S.T.F.U!! In spite of being caught driving a stolen, LoJacked car, in spite of his photo being picked out of a pile of photos by the victim, a jury acquitted accused carjacker Sidney Brewer of all charges yesterday.

Matt McDermott, a former teacher who made an appearance in HBO's "Hard Times at Douglass High" (and now working in advertising at idfive) notes that murder victim Audie Mickens* was a "key subject" in the 2008 depressyoumentary

Anthony Anderson

Batts met with the family of Anthony Anderson* who died during an arrest in E. Baltimore. There's a public viewing today for Anderson at the March funeral home at 1101 E. North Ave. from 1 - 7:30 p.m.

The Jizz is shocked, shocked I tell you, that video of last weekend's Towson beatdowns were posted online. So thoroughly offended and repelled that they posted the video online themselves, too, so that you may also clutch your pearls in horror. Meanwhile some Towson businesspeople,* including owners of the Sorry-ass saloon across the street, are coming to the Recher family's defense.

Also horrified: the inspector general re. SRB's $673k phone system,* which found that competitive-bidding protocols were breached, lies were told about the purchases and other deliberate concealment went on: "Top administration officials deliberately tried to conceal from [Joan] Pratt and [Jack] Young their plan to replace the phone system. ... About $673,000 in purchases were for equipment and installation of a new phone system, not the other uses that administration officials have contended." SRB's excuse: the guys who bought them, Rico Singleton and Damien Sharp, don't work for the city any more. And of course the reason Singleton doesn't work there any more is b/c he was canned after his ethical lapses from his previous job* in NY came to light after an audit there. Due diligence on potential hires is not this mayor's strong suit, is it?

And the Brew's Mark Reutter tried to go to a public Baltimore Development Corp meeting this morning, only to find himself mostly staring at a closed door, some very nice chairs and a philodenron in desperate need of sunlight. Somebody please find a window for that poor plant.

What's worse than speed cameras? The city spending $$ to study speed cameras. BTW noticed a new one is up at E. Northern Parkway and Waverly Way (between the 21239 post office and Hillen Rd.)

Way to stay on the case, Jayne Miller, we can all rest a little easier now that the city has admitted to taking down a guy's twinky-mannequin yard art.

And you probably already heard that the flea-market Renoir turned out to be stolen from the BMA.

"Doug Gansler

If you smelled something burning last night, that was just me getting roasted by Massachusetts AG Martha Coakley and Nevada AG Catherine Cortez Masto. They tell me that it was to "welcome" me as the new President of the National Association of Attorneys General."

This just in: booze enemas are 'extremely dangerous'. Especially if you don't take the little umbrella out first.

Flying pigs, drunken skunks, grounded rats

Could've sworn a few years ago the police dept. was so broke they were thinking of getting rid of the helicopters. But now they've got four spankin' new ghettobirds-- actually they're ghetto oiseaux , assembled in Marignane, France with various parts made in China, Singapore and Australia.

Alleged pimp Daniel O'Brien Burton, left, was arrested in SC. "Police say they searched Burton and his car and found a total of $14,888.04, both on his person and hidden in a purple Hennessy box in his trunk."

Wouldn't ordinarily care about a boat crash in Anne Arundel county, but this particular boat was the Legislator, crashed by hardcore homohater Del. Don Dwyer, who was drunk as a mutharfrackin skunk with a .20 -- more than twice the legal limit. The crash injured six, including four children, one who suffered a fractured skull. Dwyer is perhaps best known for trying to impeach Doug Gansler when he said he'd recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere and chestnuts like "if a law's not in concert with the laws of nature and of nature of God, and I would hold that, therefore, it is no law at all."

Speaking of old chestnuts, sounds like home invaders are using that "BGE worker" ruse again. Needless to say, get a peephole, use it, and don't open the door for anyone you aren't expecting.

Mitchell Courthouse employees protested unsanitary conditions today, which included "a dead rodent that was trapped between a window and Plexiglas in the office area ... their complaints to remove the rat were ignored until protestors took action ... someone finally removed it and put it in an employee's nearby trash can."